I had already done the rough draft where I detailed my extensive experience, official qualifications and willingness to do the job, so I only had to transfer it to the application form in neat handwriting. But I made a few mistakes early on and that ruined it for me so I got angry and cut out a lot of it which made it easier ie shorter.
We bought lots of drinks in LIDL including a 1.5 litre Chianti and a packet of 20 rockets (Sky Shuttle Star Burst) for Bonfire Night, or to defend our homestead from those naughty trickle-treaters. It is my job to deal with the Skelingtons and Draclias because up until last year, I was one myself and I know the way the greedy little freeloaders work. OK, I dressed up as the Terminator last year, but who's counting. This year I feel just that little bit too old to join in.
Here the rockets sit in a 1975 12 centimetre naval shell case off a Dutch ship, made by weapons manufacturer Bofors of Sweden. Cunningly grouped into fives of four different sizes, they all have their own sticks so they can get their own back on us by hitting us on the head.
In the end, I served about a dozen Trickle-Treaters and retained vast amounts of Halloween candy for myself, can you think of anyone more deserving?
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