Saturday, 30 April 2016

Excuse me while I kiss the Sky

groundlings theatre drama academy acting schoolSaturday is Acting Day and Syd emailed me to say she was making her own way there, I promptly forgot and got her "Create Account" screen ready and was miffed when she didn't turn up. I reckoned it was an ambiguous text, anyway, telling me she wouldn't be coming to my house.
woodchip safety layer park fun playIn acting we walked to Her Dear Old Majesty's Royal Naval Dockyard and acted in Boathouse 6 instead. Hey, any gig is work. Then I took her back to mine which is increasingly the norm, all my schoolfriends are jealous that I have an actual girlfriend not one of the made-up ones some of them have invented in retaliation.
We Minecrafted for ages and had sandwiches and Nerf gun fights and crisps and met her mum in the park. Taking it in turns to use the new-fangled ball-wanger, we tired Bella the dog out with our antics and did some swinging and were only scared away by a sudden rainstorm.
hungry horse beiderbecks eastern road portsmouthBecause Jof always has to cook (Bud is erratic in the kitchen) she decided to take us to the Hungry Horse pub thing up the Eastern Road, the one with the Pony Club soft play facility. It was busy, the possibility of extra clientele on a Saturday night escaping the management.
I got myself booked into the playzone which was lucky as we had to wait for well over an hour for the food on a table we cleared ourselves, not including the pile of pizza crusts on the floor below.
We finally managed to make the LED screen work and I took a snooker masterclass from my elders and worsers and I'm hoping for a Fu-Ding final. Bed 1047.

Friday, 29 April 2016

Face of Nails

happy idiot hound dog School. Well, it doesn't matter half as much as the rest of my time. This time I got to take Ben home which has been one of my special bonuses these last 6 years.
We spoke about rugby matches and football matches and the differences between the crowds, one drinks lager and fights everyone, and the other drinks real beer and gets on just fine thank you.
At home we sorted through the Pokémon cards (I have given up Pokémon but still hark back to days past) and he determined that my collection of X-Masters and Q-Shinies and Evolved-sets and Level-7-Awesomes might be worth £80. Of course, if the customer was particularly rich and stupid and drunk, that might be true.
science museum nails sculpture
science museum kensington londonThen we Minecrafted and got some sweeties from the cupboard and had a resultant sugar rush and ran around fighting alien invaders with the Nerf Guns and this was just practice for the laser-soldiery on Monday, honest.
Then he discovered the nails-in-a-matrix device I bought from the Science Museum and that kept us going for ages as we measured the naily topography of our faces, shoes and other parts of our bodies (photos not available) and it is these little things that us chaps like.
In the evening we saw Star Wars 7 with Kylo Ren and the temporary return of Solo the actual star and the brief return of Luke the past and future star.

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Fountains of Gain

unfortunate funny name combination loony wardOne week ago exactly, we had our Computing lesson and I wowed the teacher with my demonstrably competent rendition of "The Snail" by Matisse. This week we had to make a 3-D bedroom, in the same way as the estate agents make those 3-D adverts of the inside of your house, or how the hardware store says this is what your kitchen will look like once it's finished.
Child A made his bedroom 19 metres tall with enough stacked bunk beds to house 240 children, because he wasn't taking it seriously.
Child B made his into a normal-looking public school dormitory with several boys in their bunk beds looking at a chap in the middle, in front of whom a kneeling girl had been cunningly positioned to be an unmentionable abomination to those religious types, but certainly a spectacle for the boys. And I thought I got to watch all the movies above my age range, but that's something I'd never seen.
victorious festival funded work taking coins out of a fountainI made a sensible-looking room with all the furniture in the right place and the mirror on the wall, not on the ceiling like in that song about hotels. The teacher said I was really good and might be a boss at computers when I grow up.
The dentist said I had to brush my teeth more and eat the naughty sweeties less, but they're paid to say that, I bet he's fibbing.
In swimming I swam a length underwater twice in one lesson, and afterwards we looked at the fountain in front of the castle built by Henry the 8th I am I am. It is due to be replaced by an interactive one with water jets and stuff, so it was empty. I wandered around in it and picked up a couple of dirty pennies before they were demolished too.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

You don't have to be mad to work here

toilet sex confusionFor a while there, we thought that Wednesday Park would be off due to adverse weather conditions.
But fortunately the fates smiled upon me once more and once I'd invited 2 friends to be X-box co-conspirators, I scooted to the park and met up with the usual suspects.
One of our games is kicking the big yellow tennis ball over the thatched roof but this time one of our team got it stuck up there. Most people would sulkily accept this but our house isn't far away, so a ladder was retrieved and Bud went up onto the roof.
On the narrow flat-roof area were: lots of branches and sticks and lumps of moss, our football, 3 tennis balls, another football (deceased) and a red light sabre.
milton barn thatched roof areachurch of st james milton parkAll of these were returned to the fray and nobody found it in the least unusual that a man was brazenly carrying a ladder through the park, because these things are invisible, the same as a man with a clipboard and a determined expression.
I scooted round the skate park and that's when we saw all the big black clouds that were trundling towards us on the arctic wind conveyor, and we ran away home like little scared people. But we did have our ball back.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

It's Snow Joke

engrish fail corkscrew mislabelledWell, school was acceptable and I had nothing to report apart from having emailed my homework to the teacher. He gave me the advanced maths test in return, not sure if that was a good deal or not.
But because of having to go and get my phone from the office and go back to the classroom for the homework sheet and go back to the office again for the cake tin from the cake competition and being told to look upstairs in the Room Of Requirement (not kidding, it's full of all sorts of stuff), I was last out of school, practically.
And on the way home, it snowed on me. It had hailed earlier in the day, mostly it was rainy with outbursts of sun, but this was cold and white and soft and covered me in white splodges that melted. Plus, it thundered just to make sure, while the sun was out.
coffee cup deckchair southsea seafrontIn Advanced-Level Swimming I forgot my float/flippers kitbag and blamed it on stupid Bud by permission but the teacher said it was my fault. Now we have to tie the 2 bags together so we don't out-stupid ourselves.
This is the giant novelty deckchair by the coffee place we use for Beach Wednesday. It is not strictly relevant to anything at all but here is some blue sky. Just behind the chair, the Isle of Wight was getting a thunderstorm.
I complained that my afternoon snack was miniscule and that I was being cruelly starved on purpose. It is lucky that Jof went out and bought cakes.

Monday, 25 April 2016

The Letter of the Law

welding with no protection failIn school we have pet tadpoles and seedlings and worms. So on the way home I was full of demands to have my own pet snail (I only need a shoebox and a lid of grass, honest) but Jof is apparently allergic to slugs and snails, opinion on puppy dog's tails unknown.
But I did secure permission to have a wormery in an old Coke bottle. But tasks got in the way.
We now have a personalized number-plate for the car. These things can be very expensive if it's got hardly any letters and numbers in it, or if it makes a word or name. For example the Dear Old Queen owns "A1" and you or I would not be able to afford it. And sometimes you can get a boring-looking one that changes if you move the space.
HiQ tyres and exhausts goldsmith avenue
For one registration year (H) you could get things like H1 JON but not everyone can afford H1 so you got things like H18 ERT or H17 ACK where they move the space along to make H1 7ACK and H1 8ERT. And you see these things all the time.
So we'd got the eligibility document from the government and went into the garage and they said not on your Nellie, mate, it's against the law. Turns out that people get the shuffled plates from disreputable online plate printers and have a spare pair of legal ones in the boot where they swap them back for the MOT test, because it would fail if it was shuffled. What a bag of poo, and a palaver.
Later, Flynn took me to Scouts because Bud was vomiting too much and I had a good time.

Sunday, 24 April 2016

1642 all over again

So today was going to be empty but then Sydney invited me to Little Woodham Living History Village, a place where it's always 1642.
It's in Gosport right next to the army training ground where we went metal-detecting for bullets and we drove there in the sun.
It was full of history being re-enacted and we spoke to the weavers and the loomers and the carriage maker and the potter and the sawyer and the quillmaker and lots of wenches and possibly a bawdy-house. We learned huge amounts about weaving and carding and how to hold an axe safely.
If we'd worn tattier clothing we could have had a go on the potter's wheel, maybe next time. We had a picnic by the bluebell wood and once we'd got back home we played on our Minecraft world again.
I make many demands and one of them was to have a family swim in the pool where I have spent so much time. So we all bagged up, and the man said no, there's a synchronised swimming disco practice going on so you'll have to come back in half an hour. So we did that, and swam and dived and I met Curly-Headed Sam from my old school and I showed off my diving prowess.