Friday, 21 October 2016

Freaky Friday

waterslide into paddling pool funny failTo celebrate the end of another section of our little lives, the teachers let us come to school in non-uniform, as long as we contributed £1 to school funds, for they are considerate like that.
Knowing that I have a Great Little Mini South Run tomorrow, I have chosen to prepare by running circuits of the playground, during games of Tag with Okely Dokely. I am 'Taunter' who goads the mark into chasing him and tiring him out. Then it was another boring roundelay of maths tests (63/64), spelling tests (10/10) and so forth, whatever.
But I took Sham home again and showed off my Pokéminecraft world. Obviously only 1 person can sit at the PC keyboard at any one time and I think you know who it was, for the duration. I let him choose which Pokémon to use, what more does he want? Anyway, we got a Level 36 Poligrip and a Level 28 Trowza but my Nematoad was killed by an EnderWombat, what can you do. I have homework from school AND from Scouts, and we're all off next week! Lucky we won all that money (£7.20) on the Tuesday Euromillions.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

The Gingerbread Man of Destiny

text conversation between american moronsAgain, a day of normality, nobody tripped the fire alarm, no seagulls entered the assembly hall to steal food, no jehovah's witnesses took the stand.
But I swapped my picture in art to an easier one, and we did percentages in Extra-Maths with the Headmaster so now I understand the science behind my phenomenal successes on the craps tables.
At home I'd barely eaten my prawns when it was time to go right back to school. I determined 7 reasons why it was different, including being at the wrong time, with the wrong person in the wrong clothing, etc.
meon junior school year 6 classroomOnce I'd shown him my empty classroom again, we met my teacher for the teacher-parent ganging-up-on-the-kid meeting, and I had to be there for this one. She was armed with an image of an empty gingerbread man and filled it in with positives, overall impressions and negatives to be worked on.
I am apparently, her superstar. Furthermore, yerronner, I am a high flier in maths but could possibly benefit from babbling less with Okely Dokely. I always blame him for being the talker but it takes 2 to babble.

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

The Rainbow (sing it)

curly yellow slide and yellow ladderchinese engrish ripoff handbag legend failSchool was normal. Most stuff was normal. Because of Robotics I didn't have to do French (hooray) and because of PE, 2 possibly disruptive members of our Ecology team weren't there so we redid the whole deforestation project without them and scored top marks, hooray. In maths they asked what 3 prime numbers multiply together to make 1001 and I was the only one to get it right, hooray. 3 Hoorays in a row make me a hipster, surely.
crete greece t shirt for kidsIt was Wednesday so I duly parked it and there were a few co-conspirators but once Bud came back from buying broomsticks for the Scouts it was drizzling and this had attracted a rainbow. I used to sing a rainbow but I reckon it's only the 3rd one I've ever seen. They don't come out very well unless you use a long exposure but the last time I tried that in the park there was trouble.
Anyway, I moaned that getting older was bogus because I couldn't go trickle treating, and then we had a discussion about whether Gyarados (atrocious dragon-shaped Pokémon that evolves from a Magikarp - but you knew that) should be pronounced Guy-ara-dos rather than Garridose.

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Homo Erratica

engrish product name fail funnyJof went to work today even though it was her day off. I went to work but didn't get paid. Bud went to work but not for much longer. One man went to mow, but that's another story.
Today we played 9 diamonds in which you arrange 9 tessellated literacy components into a diamond shape in order of importance to an essay or short story. South couldn't beat East's bid and North won with a 3 of clubs. Then we watched the same Youtube video as we did in Year 5 about a 1st Grader drawing a butterfly and taking repeated constructive criticism from his classmates without once going home, getting his fathers' assault rifle, and killing them all. By the end, he had an absolutely cracking Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterfly and the plaudits of his peer group, all of whom remained alive to congratulate him.
scout group lock up garage kit
Then we had to list the pros and cons of each others' drawings which is asking for trouble, in a class of 11 year-olds, some of whom are nice, some not, but most erratic at best. Afterwards we looked in the Scout Lock-up for broomsticks. This is not witch-related, the Helper chappie last night wanted some smooth poles as frames to learn knots and rope-lashing with. Fortunately we'd bought some last year, it was just a matter of finding them in the somewhat crowded garage and not falling in the drifts of dog poo outside, because it is a communal latrine for the Baskervillian hounds of the neighbourhood.
That left me free to play Minecraft with added Pokémon and eat quiche and crisps and lasagne in front of Jof who is on a mega-diet again, poor girl.

Monday, 17 October 2016

And the Last shall be First ...

blind assistance dog funnySo yesterday we had a lazy tyre on the car which couldn't be bothered to hold in air any more. So Bud, who is normally first out of the house, had to loiter until the tyre and exhaust place opened to get it fixed. So I got some extra early-morning tussles and encouragement to go out and get a job etc. The nice man at the garage said "Cor strike a light Guv'nor (just not in this no-smoking establishment) this one's a goner and no doubt and this one 'ere is nearly shot through and you need yer tracking done see the way it's wearing on the edges there and you'll need the back one done 'cos it's almost illegal, get it done next month tops, yeronner". And that is why this Monday morning started cheerily with a £170 bill.
But I was having troubles of my own. In Ecology we have a group of half a dozen working on the project, so not all members have their full attention on the task at all times, if you know what I mean. So I got angry with Child A writing on the wrong subject and I kept deleting his slides and he kept bringing them back and it was less than satisfactory. But in Robotic Programming we managed to get the robot to move Damien Hirst's shark-in-a-tank without making soup and our bomb-clearing robot successfully negotiated the minefield and rescued the stranded vegetable seller.
adam blade beast quest orchard books vipero soltraAt home I had an hour booked on the PC for Magikarp hunting. In the modern society of today, Fuzzy-wuzzies are right out of fashion for shooting, it's Nether-Mobs instead, so I stood at the top of the stairs with a sword and went "Gnnn Bzzzz warg Electro-Shok vibe legendary setting choof choof bzzz krrr vadoof labalaba" for 20 solid minutes because that's what you do if you have an active imagination and no trousers.
That left me enough time to read 2 books. The Beast Quest series by Adam Blade may not be weighty tomes quoted by the Bard or sent into space on Voyager, but the approx. 130 pages are set out pleasantly with big pictures and a nice large font for easy comprehension. Plus he had to think of 42 different beasties to fill the series, no mean feat. Also they are brightly coloured and get me one point each on the quizzes.
I am undergoing transmogrification from Cubs to Big Scouts so this week I did a double stint, attending both meetings at a total of 2 1/2 hours of extreme Scoutery, getting to be both first and last, showing grit, determination and a bit of tummy where my Scout jumper is getting short. Flynn and I have elected to rise to proper Scouts next week.

Sunday, 16 October 2016

Right in the Globular Clusters

Sundays are my very own day for Minecrafting and Youtubing and generally wasting so I made absolutely sure that I wouldn't have to go to the supermarket, because that gets right in the way of my 9 hour MineTubing stint. I'd spent some time trying to download 'Pixelmon' which is a Minecraft add-on mod where you get Pokémons popping up left right and centre and as far as I am concerned, it is the very pinnacle of modern techno-entertainment that will never be bettered. Now, I'm sure we all know that chunky military funding speeds up development of many inventions, and in the same way, those special adult film companies have invested heavily in tech that will make those special experiences more hands-on and virtually real. But at my age, Pixelmon mod, honestly.
pokemon in minecraftSo he downloaded and installed it successfully by cheatingly watching the tutorial video and once I knew it was on there, I breezed through the supermarket like the man who invented solar panels for the sun shining out of his own butt.
That's when we noticed the front tyre on the car had some air in it, but not enough. We blew it up with the free air-whoosher in the petrol station, enough to get us home. And while he ran a half-marathon and Jof watched property programmes, I did a real marathon on the Pixelmon server and it was totally epic. I've got all sorts of beasties all levelled-up, this is my breeding ground where I make my Pokies poke and it's full of cake for some reason. The nice ladies I met yesterday who let me build a house on their land have been forgotten. I mean, she was 25, who needs it, srsly.

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Accident at Mr Hall's Ropery

tonys curios elm grove southseaIdeally, Saturdays are relaxed affairs with relaxation and low-impact gaps. But, reality does not always match the well-laid plans of predestination.
First, I was happily enjoying my second hour of Youtube Minecraft videos when he said have you had breakfast yet, because otherwise you will be hungry.
So then he insisted on doing a hands-off teaching course of how to make my own boiled egg with toastie soldiers of varying rank, with all the patronizing questions like how are you going to spread the margarine and how are you going to provide this 'boiling water' of which you speak. So, we were a little behind schedule. Then, the pre-arranged taxi arrived, about 5 minutes before we were ready. And Jof texted to say can you buy me more milk and put some more money in the car park meter, and we almost had time to do that. Because Bud's work is closing, many unwanted parts will be going in the bin so certain items are salvaged such as (in this case) 3 brass gas pressure dials.
groundlings theatre portsea beer festivalSome chap called Tony makes steampunk items under the name of Tony's Curios so we donated 3 dials to this Curious Tony character in return for this picture and the safe knowledge that the bits wouldn't just be thrown away.
Then we did what Jof asked and that made me 20 minutes late for acting but by then I was angry anyway, one of those pre-teenager angst things, and Miss Bossy Boots did not help. We are due to play Victorian street kids again with a ropey script about Mr Foster and Mr Givens and Mr Siddons. After acting, Jof took me for lunch and a quiet afternoon on the sofa, several hours until the idiot man returned from the beer festival and burned supper for us.