Saturday, 1 February 2014

Mungle Ton: Code 3 in Scum Ton

medieval town fortifications from below bar street southampton hampshireSouthampton is a big dirty sprawling city only 25 miles up the coast from us. They have things in their historical record like "In 1202 King John gave £100 to strengthen city walls against invaders", and quite a lot of it is still there, but their castle has been demolished.
Due to dock-workers strike-breaking a generation ago, Portsmouth and Southampton call each other Scummers and our respective football teams have always enjoyed throwing half-bricks and humorous sing-songs at each other. Harvey the Haircut in my class loves Scumton and it is a love that dare not speak its name I can tell you, so we didn't wear our Pompey hats today.
We said goodbye to Jof (visiting Nanna) and caught the train as planned and I couldn't believe the place names, Swanwick must be full of swans, Burbledon, Woolston, Saint Dennis... but he'd bought me a Lego Minifigure so all was not mad. It was windy. I expect the Jurassic coast where we found ammonites has been thoroughly eroded.
john lewis marks and spencer glass lifts escalators easy to lose a childWe found John Lewis in the giant indoor West Quay centre (Pronounced west kway) and I got a Lego train track pack with 2 changeable points junctions and a packet of hankies because I seem to be sneezing a bit. The interior is very large and impressive with many escalators and glass lifts and I enjoyed going off on my own with target meeting points and it all went fine.
Above Bar road is nice, clean and expensive, Below Bar is ... below par. But I did buy some bath fizzers. The 'Bar' is the Bargate, small castle-type thing that was the front door of the town and you can see the bits of old medieval wall sticking out.
We went back to West Kway and had a piggy lunch in Pizza Hut for a change. I like the salad bowls, for I can fill up while waiting for the pizza. The post-prandial walkabout was due to end at the lifts in the corner, because the waiter said we could see the Odeon cinema from there and I wanted to watch Somebody or Other and Mr Peabody, who is a time-travelling dog.
eibe village hut castle woodland climber sound play titanic nest swing carousel
Well as you know, there were many escalators and lifts and levels and sub-levels and it had got quite busy and I rather forgot the mustering point in all the exitement, so I retraced the footsteps I might possibly have made but you can never be sure and I didn't hear either of the giant tannoy announcements asking me to contact security and just as I was waiting for a lift a nice chap in a suit asked me if I was Max and simultaneously Bud had targeted me from the balcony where the head of security and his 25 helpers (some you see, some you don't) had designated me a Code 3 (Lost Child) and goodness me I was pleased to see him and the manager gave me a little wave and we ran away in embarrassment.
We never did find the Odeon, it was too windy and rainy and we went in the charity shop where Grandma's clothes and dressing table went and then we found Houndswell Park.
This playpark is located in the large green area that they have kindly kept open. It's quite advanced and separate from the skatepark and teenager-loitering park and it's predominantly wooden.
It has a: Nessie monster, sandpark, Titanic frame with 3 floors and the top one looks quite like Johnny and Bobert's Hovercraft, Pirate ship with rope net and crow's nest, rope walkway, rubberized flooring, musical clangers, hammocks, hand-operated conveyor belt, see-saw and 2 roundabouts.
eating haribo starmix om southwest trains southampton to portsmouthI stayed for ages even though I had previously complained about tired feet, mostly because of the sand excavator. I made a massive pile called Mount Sandalous, in memory of the sandy scandal we don't talk about.
On the way home we found 'The Southampton Barbershop' where we asked the man to make me cool. Sadly I admitted straight away that I was from Pompey but he shaved 'Scum' into the back of my head hardly at all. I think I deflected him by saying I supported Man U and Liverpool.
It got dark on the train back, so I practised going cross-eyed, as you do, not many places to hide on a train if the toilet's out of order. By the time we'd got back, 4 more Lego Minifigures had magically appeared but it didn't stop me fighting him, probably the sugar rush off the packet of Haribo Starmix I bought.
Time out of house: 9 hours. Money found: 12 pence. Repressed memories: 1. Lego gained: 6. Coolness ratio: 7.
Jof rang to check up on me, and it was like, whassup, k, whatever, dudess.

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