Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Valentinos: Are you ready to Rumble?

university college department sign funny failSome decent thunder rumblings at 0400 today, but they didn't develop their full potential and the Royal sleep remained undisturbed.
SAGA! News from the old people ...
Grandad has to go into hospital to have his penguin bandage removed. They say he can't wear glasses for weeks afterwards. The stoic senior is playing the hand he's dealt, but weeks without reading will be somewhat dull, but I suppose he won't scare the natives any more.
In other news, Dear Follower Fiona's mother is a little confused and has taken to accusing visitors of bringing round unknown cutlery and appliances and leaving them in her home. I have advised that charity shops are your friend, and the simple purchase of a couple of those nice silver teabag strainers, novelty-comedy telephones or onyx eggs to leave in the upstairs sink will help, as will surreptitiously moving the furniture around.
Today is French Day. I chose to dress in the colours of the Tricolour rather than in 'Surrender' white, I i-Maginot they'll appreciate that. I also took a 40 year-old brass Eiffel Tower to brandish, which came in handy when we had to build a working model in uncooked spaghetti and marshmallow. On the way home we took Pops and we discussed the Hunchback of Notre Dame who was a misunderstood man with a lot of gargoyle friends.
lidl vitamin juiceShe is not coming to the Valentine's dance. She has heard that there's a slow dance at the end where you have to find a boy, and she is worried it will get out of hand. I think she has been speaking to one of her mothers again, and has been given Ideas. The only dancing I do is the Random Gyration Dance, not slow, so we played on my bed. Anyway, Harvey and Ben and I have to protect Eddie from his girlfriend, otherwise he will end up having to have sex. I'm not sure Ben knows as much about it as he's suggesting but it all sounds terrible. I declared loudly that I have already dumped 2 girls but have 200 more interested in me.
We queued up at the wrong entrance just in time for it to start raining. Basically the format was:
Boogie, go to toilet. Boogie, cool down outside. Boogie, get drink. Throw hotdog in bin, boogie. It was hot and loud and oppressive and I kept trying to hide or leave and teachers kept making me go back in.
I was pooped at the end and moaned about hunger and then didn't eat it and got hurting leg syndrome and was sent to bed early to wallow in my own hard-done-by-ness.

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