Saturday, 10 September 2011

The day of tidiness

So tasks today included:
1. Paint the plastic things in the new room
2. Sort out my toy tub and reduce its contents
3. Put suitable pictures into the new room
But we all know what went wrong.
The Housework Randomizer Theory
This states that however simple the job you have, allied, associated and ancillary tasks will present themselves unto you and the amount of work you must do will expand to fill the time provided.
1. Thus, to hang the pictures in the room, one must first de-hang every picture in the house and hold them up against the target wall, humming in a variety of tones to determine whether it is suitable.
2. All those pictures will now need to be cleaned with a damp cloth, because they've been up there for 11 years and the spiderwebs are 33 generations thick.
3. Then to hang the pictures, one must find panel pins. These are in the large toolbox under the table in the conservatory behind the boxes and running shoes and the green recycling box and the bag of chalk from the beach at Goring that I was supposed to give to all my friends.
clearing out the loft attic storage space4. So, seeing an easy way out, simply open the tool drawer where you often dump leftover screws and nails because you can't be bothered to get out the right toolbox from under the table in the conservatory derble derble derble.
5. Discover that you do not have 4 suitable panel pins in the lazy dump drawer, so have to clean the conservatory to get to the toolbox, and decide to sort out the lazy drawer and put away all of those leftover hooks, fuses, jubilee clips and the 7 bags of screws with unrelated allen key that you always get free with anything from IKEA.
6. Discover that once you have completely emptied said drawer, it's so dirty (hair, fluff, sawdust, 2 blue barleycorns from the rat poison, wire ends, several unknown devices and a fossilised conker) that you actually have to hoover it out.
7. Remember that you have 2 pictures still in the loft from when you cleared out the room to do the painting, go into loft and have protracted conversation about whether it's possible to sell that vast bag of Duplo Lego on Ebay, or just PuddleNursery it.
8. Meanwhile Jof has bagged up 9 of the 84 extraneous cushions from under her bed and passed them up, just as you notice the old baby carseat has got mildewy and when are we next going to the tip.
9. Remove selves from loft, on way out, take hedge trimmer down for a job I think you'll be able to guess for yourselves.
10. Hang pictures in room.
We have decided to sell the Duplo Lego. This means that it has to be counted and verified, and separated into its component parts for the photo that goes on Ebay. This also means that while he's trying to do that,  I shall build things out of it again and then beg him to keep it. During this period we nipped down the road to a house only 3 doors from LittleMax's place and took some wood for the Nov 5th PuddleBurnParty. Plundered booty includes a 6ft cardboard tube of approx 8 inch diameter (that's what he says) which we shall shoot rockets up.

No comments:

Post a comment

Hi! I'm glad you want to comment, for I like messages from humans. But if you're a Robot spam program, Google will put you in the spam folder for me to laugh at later.