The antepenultimate football and other stories

Fast running out of footy time (and running fast within it).
On the way we delivered another bale of moving-house boxes to Elizabeth. She is moving nearer to the JoniBobs and Erin, leading to a distinct Puddlecluster. Perhaps we should buy the now defunct Traveller's Joy pub and get Doom Bar Cornish ale and Tanglefoot on tap. Saw Ruby pushing Pops in Baby Edward's buggy! I guess they're the same size.
The box delivery took less time than anticipated so we arrived at football very early. Some big boys were showing off to each other in a testosterone-fuelled toughness competition with a twist.
1.  One person goes in goal but turns his back and sticks his bum out, potentially exposing valuable equipment.
2.  Everyone else queues up at the penalty spot and the one at the front of the line tries to score by booting the ball as hard as he can, but secretly he's trying to hit his friend.
3.  Once a striker has taken a penalty, he joins the goalie (who may or may not have been struck fatally) and sticks his bum out as well, and the next ball-booter gets ready to shoot.
4.  Continue attempting to score/maim your friends until only one striker remains and everyone else is lined up on the goal line, sticking their botties out.

5.  Take funny picture. I watched this bum-banging bonanza from behind the big metal fence and it was still frightening.

My team won but we were Ben-less due to glue ear, it's not the first time he's poured glue into his ear. At the end we got orange quarters from Louie.