Tuesday 19 July 2011

Nothing to declare

shortcomings of a church serviceWho knows what I shall see in my lifetime. The surface of Titan from my own spacebuggy? Sea levels covering London? The cost of a family saloon breaking the £1 million barrier? Skillchips? (buy grade 8 piano and 2 languages, get double your memory free!) And what of the things I shall never see? The unfettered joys of a British Rail sandwich? Golliwogs? The majestic flares of the Piper Alpha platform? A gallon of 2 Star? The second coming? Marathon bars? A new Hamlet advert?
You can't have everything. But you can have a distinct improvement on reading ability.
I have the opportunity (it knocks) to perform my own act in front of the whole school, if I can perfect it within the next week. Erin, for example, is going to sing a Cheryl Cole song.
I'm ... enthusiastic on the mouth organ, but can't really carry a tune. Ditto with the Hawaiian ukelele.
I can ... jump around manically to the excellent "Red Light Love" by Those Darlins or the theme to the Magnificent 7, but it's not a dance style that's likely to sweep the nation.
I can't ... ride a unicycle, juggle, tame a lion, levitate, throw daggers around a spreadeagled Erin or paint an upside-down picture of the Queen while saying "Can you see what it is yet?".
It's difficult being 5. If it doesn't work out in the next 6 months I'll give it up.

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