Step Back in Time

Oh I do like a Saturday. We got fed bacon and eggs (I got a double-yolker!) on toast by a surprisingly alert Bud and Jof started to pull the kitchen apart to see behind the cooker, because there was bare unpainted plaster behind it, just like behind the wine cupboard.
We bought this large range cooker in situ with the house 2 and a half years ago and haven't pulled it out since the chimney sweep came in April last year. Jof was expecting to find dead mice and dried leeks and fossilized peas and desiccated mushrooms and all those other things that fall off the cooker and are lost down the back when you're cooking with gay abandon. 2 years ago, a passing bird dropped a chicken bone down the flue, that's why we asked the roofers to put a cowl on the chimneypots when they replaced the roof.
But in the end it was just a load of chimney dust and a small plastic thing of unknown origin. I got in behind it and looked up the hole.
My acting lesson today was chimney-sweep related. As part of my upcoming role as flea-bitten forelock-tugger, we have a song to perform called Step in Time. We made up lots of complicated dance moves and practised repeatedly. Then we tried to do it in time with the actual music and found that we'd made far too many moves because the music was too quick. So we redacted extensively. I took along my Mary Poppins genuine chimney-sweep brush which was very useful as it is exactly the same as the one everyone else has, but newer. Plus, the Theatre props department didn't have enough for all of us so me bringing my own was twice as good.
Meanwhile, Bud bought 6 more funny foreign coins for my collection (now up to 989 coins) and Jof mopped the kitchen floor and hoovered up the water, which stopped the hoover.
At home, we decided to cycle to lunch at the Harvester on the Eastern Road and we pigged and pigged and 2 of us had the kiddie's chocolate sundae, I'd hate to see the adult version. On the way home, we stopped off at Rude People Park. Also known as Moneyfields Lane Recreation Area, it is bordered by 2 fields of allotments and every time we go there, it is full of Yoofs and Yoofesses going "I Farken tole 'im, ar did, annee wunt faarken listen so ar forken decked 'im, roight" and similar tortured phrases liberally bedecked with fakns and winkers. It is right next to the school in which Bensmum is head teacher so that explains it.
We moved on. Jof went to buy some paint and painted the cooker alcove and then I demanded Harry Potter and the Dragon Competition as Saturday night viewing. We were so full from giant lunch, we could only eat a couple of platefuls of chocolate cake and biscuits. Pompey football club is top of the league. OK, so we're top of league 7, just above the Post Office league but who cares.