Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Pot will Smoke Itself

engrish product name funny failI was a bit yawny this morning, still buzzing from my stage appearance.
I was rescued from class by an Antisocial Bee. This week, a school project has been gradually self-assembling: the Solenoid Bee Hotel. We have been upgrading our gardens and are now totally floral. The Solitary Bee is an efficient pollinator but does not make large hives full of stinging beasties which may prove dangerous in a Junior school environment. They lay eggs in holes in wood and leave them to it so ideal for us.
flying ant day colony swarming from hole in pavementOther pupils had painted designs onto pre-cut logs of about 6 inch diameter and 8 inch length and we drilled holes in them for Suicidal Bee eggs. We then dug 60 cm holes in the ground which went well apart from one where we found a huge lump of concrete at 20cm depth. Without so much as a council risk assessment, the teacher took a giant iron pole and chumfed the concrete until the sweat poured from his brow and the concrete shattered.
hall stairs landing carpetFortunately it was not the main sewer pipe and we finished the hole. The mainframe was bolted together and installed in the holes and mortar added to support. The Year 3s will add the Somnambulist Bee egg-logs tomorrow.
In PE we played punchball and my team lost 7-0 and they taunted me for my crapness and I cried. It is not my fault I'm not an Olympic sportsperson, at least I try.
After school we checked out the new carpets in the Renty house. It is entirely possible that they have installed the grey soft carpet in the hall/stairs/landing and the hard-wearing brown carpet in the bedrooms to match the grey curtains, but who's counting. Zoe will have a tough job hoovering up the millions of little worm-like bits.
shirtless boy milton park portsmouthIt is Ant Day. Loads of them flew into my face and my shirtless body but they didn't bite. I'd arranged to meet Ben in the park as the JBs were having a school picnic so we played ball-tag but he wanted to play football so I got angry and wanted to play tents on the common and also to play Klash-of-Klans at his house and Lego at my house and just when I'd scored a deal, the JBs turned up having changed their minds. I got VERY angry but when they said let's all play tents on the common with the 30 new Nerf gun bullets, I grudgingly accepted the thing I'd wanted about 7 changes of mind ago.
First we sawed 60 bits of wood for BensMum, as you do, and tented happily on the common for hours. I got lots of grass seeds stuck in my socks, very itchy. I need to get to sleep, if only grass did that for you.

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