Invasion of the Seagulls, or, Viking Confusion!

We were doing just fine at school when the little baby Year 2s who will become Year 3s next year came to do their orientation and getting-used-to-the-big-school thing.
I wouldn't mind - we've all been there - but they're so noisy! I had to imagine invisible corks in my ears when I was doing my literacy, and don't talk to me about mathematical conundra when a bunch of hell-beasts, half vulture, half seagull are circling the playground quarkling and screaming. I was never like that, honest.
During outside literacy, one of them ran over, trod on my work, rupturing my pencil asunder, and smudged my entire paragraph. I had to redo it with a new pencil and it just wasn't as good.
Anyway, I got out and asked for a haircut. Funny you should mention that, he said and I entered an empty shop so got my choice of chairs, as long as I wanted this one. Grade 1 all over, no mercy, he said. But I wanted hair gel, I said, and renegotiated to a Grade 2. I felt so much better afterwards, I shed my shirt and scooted home sucking my lollipop. That's when I said I wanted a Mohican, bit late.
Here I am with dashing new haircut and my Certificate Of Entitlement that says I own the numberplate MUN60 M. All I need now is a car to put it on.
Now, I am an unusual boy, and consequently, unusual things happen to me. That is Fact #1. All you office-worker saps will know that Fact #2 is that you have to obey your manager, because they always put that bit in your job contract that says "Duties are ... and any other tasks as assigned by your manager". So you can't get away with it, even if he sends you down the street to pick up his dry-cleaning.
So when Jof phoned to say her boss had asked us to pick up some stuff from her house following a clear-out, we obediently trotted the 75 yards to her house and were given:

1. A Fussball table that rotates to become an air hockey table and rotates again to become a pool table
2. A sack of Pokémon cards and other collectibles
3. A crate of Horrible Histories with cards and booklets
4. A book hauntingly entitled "Living with a Willy"
5. A box of Lego Bionicles, including 2 dragons
6. 5 binbags of assorted Lego, including a Viking warship, jet fighter, 1970s spacecraft with light-up thrusters, USS Kittyhawk with 8 fighter jets, rockets, winches, rare VaderVader, Police boat, elephants and as many jewels and gold ingots as you could shake an angry Viking at (Vikings included).

I was quite excited. But it's all dusty so Jof is going to wash it. I'm going to have to get another bedroom ...
In other news, we sang the Peanut Song at Scouts and the workmen replacing the traffic lights are doing their first nightshift tonight. Looking forward to lots of lovely sleep.