The Slippers of Safety

Today was Special Menu Day at school, as advertised and paid for 3 weeks ago. So that's why Bud made me a packed lunch for today and said I wouldn't be getting one tomorrow. It went straight in the bin.
I just have to hope we remember that it's no-school-uniform day tomorrow.
Anyway, we got stuck behind the bin lorry on the way in, no sooner had we shaken it off, we got stuck behind a double-decker bus. Only in London, folks.
I chose the beefburger option (refusing to collect the proffered salad) oblivious to the fact I had already chosen it when I paid, at least I'm consistent.
First we went into the loft and got down all the boxes of curtains. "You never know when you'll need a second set of curtains" she'd said, and now look, we've bought a second house and need some curtains.
Then we locked ourselves in the garage and destroyed a garden gate, several bits of cupboard and a pallet. The gate was #159 and had a metal letterbox, which I destroyed with the 2 1/2 pound lump hammer. This load of wood filled 3 1/2 large cardboard boxes (good for 2 children each) and surely that's enough for the Scouts campfire. I broke the nobs off the cupboard base with a giant rubber mallet, see the way I'm wearing protective red slippers with skulls and crossbones motif, warding off those splinters, nails and flying shards.