Friday, 22 May 2015

Lords on the Fly

apply cold water to burn funny ugly girlsSo today it was end of mini-term and a non-uniform day to boot. Or sandal, in this case.
The 3rd form have been studying Celts, I mean, that's so last year, we did it last year. We, of course, have been studying Romans.
Thus the teachers arranged a mock battle in which the crusty Celts had their shields and greater numbers and we had Post-it Notes and cunning. Yes, Post-it Notes. We got 4 sticky yellow paper squares each and each one represented Death to any Celt we managed to stick it onto. Using our brains for once, we split our posse into groups and Group 1 was the Tortoise. This well-known Roman battle formation made a lot of noise and advanced as a unit towards the cowering Celts and they scattered towards our Group 2 who ambushed them, attaching Post-it Deaths to the stragglers. The remaining cheese-eating surrender monkeys ran away but right into the path of the concealed Group 3 who mopped up the rest in an orgy of lethal stationery. I personally killed Elizabeth Puddle with a well-aimed internal memo and us Romans conquered the playground, killing our weaker schoolmates, it is the natural order.
boy sitting on motherI have homework. It is to determine my favourite animal, and write a datasheet about it and what I like about it, or some other lengthy discussion. But I have a problem with the question itself, in that I don't really have a preferred beast. OK, I like sausages so you could say that pig is up there. Jof likes to accost cats and talk to them, and I don't mind a bit of pussy myself but Bud wants to kill them all for being smug and poo-ing on the flowerbed and he has a point, so I am split on felines.
I DO NOT like dogs after one knocked me over as a toddler, meerkats are cute, I suppose, wildebeest, now that's just kinky, so what's left? Then we realised that my favourite animal might just be the Predator. I mean, he's got the shoulder-guns with the 3 laser-dots. He's got the extra set of teeth that go sideways. And he's a mean customer with the stabbing weapons and the camouflage jacket, and if all else fails, his arm is a nuclear weapon. Nowhere in the question does it say the animal has to be from this planet - Ben might choose Chewbacca the Wookie. What's not to like? We giggled, guffawed and wet ourselves all the way home, with children pointing and staring (but we're used to that).

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