Keys, Please (and the Y-oh-Why Box)

'Twas the day before christmas and all through ... well OK it wasn't, but it was supposed to be a day off anyway. Once you've paid over some serious bunce to buy a new house, you expect to get the keys at around lunchtime, so we waited with bated breath which got tough after a while.
So we went shopping and in a game shop called Game, we got an X-Box so I can talk to Ben while killing creepers and cave spiders and Ender-wombats and innocent villagers. This has been promised to me since at least the christmas of today's opening stanza, but resisted by Bud and forever denied to me when I was bad.
Eventually the keys were made available after someone else's conveyancer finally phoned it in and Jof went to collect them via the petrol station and one getting lost in her own town. Bud and I packed the car with all the cleaning equipment we've built up over the 3 months since we last saw the place, and we drove there in what was possibly a slower journey than if we'd walked.
The house had a delightful aroma of disturbed cat and we opened all the doors and then had to walk home to get a torch and ladder to read the meters. There were many keys and my job was to find locks for them all.
The woodshed was empty. The rest of the house was pretty empty as well, but on top of the kitchen cupboard we found a hat which shall be ceremoniously burnt at the Scout campfire. We also found some random bits of wood including a ladder with advanced woodworm which shall go the same way.
Jof tasked us with measuring all the windows while she cleaned the kitchen and we discovered that all our spare curtains were made for our house, not this new one which is of a more sensible size. It has a nice suntrap garden.
But just when we were cleaning out the drain it was gymnastics time and I finally achieved my boyhood aim of doing the leg-lifting thing although I still need to work on the handstand-forward-roll.  All through supper we talked about double glazing and mortar repairs and carpets and the mysterious hose, I was glad to get to the TV room.