Tether-Ball Broom-inator

A standard start to a Sunday in the middle of nowhere, up at about 930. Jof demanded that I come shopping with her, even though she decided not to buy a Hoover (To buy or not to buy, that is the question ...) and we gave lots of money to good old Mr Sainsbury.
But Elizabeth Puddle had invited us for a barbecue, forgetting that I had personally killed her with a lethal internal memo just 3 days ago. So we trundled round and had to bash the door quite a lot because everyone was in the back garden and couldn't hear us.
I took the tablet but didn't need it. The JBs and I played spin-ball attack (with the Mourning-Star of Terror and the Broom of Doom) and when Beth retreated to watch TV, we simply added extra rules and invented Podium Tetherball Attack.
The idea is, 2 players hit the tethered ball and contestant #3 stands on the podium of death and can throw the gaily coloured football at one of us when we're hitting the ball, or waiting for the ball, or, well, it's difficult to absolutely pin down the exact rules but we knew exactly what we were doing and we basically played for about 4 hours, apart from marshmallow burning time. The BBQ had run out by then and our sugary morsels went untoasted.
The original BBQ worked well, we all had carbonized sausages or charred chicken or cucumber without Tzatziki and crisps and chocolate and FAB lollies and we also invented pillow-fight attack and so much other stuff that had to occupy the 4 hours.
Eventually tempers frayed and wine ran out and we wandered home past the teenagers in the park and I had to go to bed without my shower or the Sunday night movie, have to have one tomorrow.