Wednesday, 31 December 2014

New Years' Eve 2014

health and safety at work fail funnyAt the end of this year in which I lost my second Grandmother (careless) I thank those all over the world who read my silliness, from Leeds to La Belle France to Saudi to the US. And those Ukrainian Spam Donors who send me so many adverts for make-your-willy-bigger pills. And those special individuals (you know who you are) who google "naked little boy nudist" and get a picture of me fully clothed metal-detecting on the nudist beach in winter.
Well, we've been preparing for this event for a while, no doubt. We collected obscure liqueurs in Majorca in the summer, we collected cardboard for Box #9 all winter, and collected friends to attend about 5 years ago.
giant tank armoured division keep kids happy during partyJof and I went to big B+Q and bought (and assembled!) some barstools for the barflies to go with the bartable and a heater to warm the hearts of everyone's cockles. She panicked, I 'helped' by taking all the wrong things to the wrong rooms, we made Eton Mess (a gerundive, it means a mess to be eton) and washed up 9 times.
Eventually it was time and all my co-conspirators turned up and we separated into boys in the tank and girls in the toilet where they set up a beautician salon and we left them to it.
We had a massive sheet of camouflage netting so bedecked the tank and added blankets and bedding and we were Germans in the Armoured Division and played Panzer Attack and we were all Sturmbannfuhrers and Hitler was on our side but if ever an adult came in to check on us, we accused them of being Nazis and turfed them out of Paris.
cardboard castle den for kidsThen the girls joined us and Erin went to bed in room 3 of the tank and we clambered all over it against instructions but nobody died apart from Ben who was playing Wounded Doctor on Battlefield and he said go on without me but brave soldiers of the regiment rescued him under fire.
All the boys went shirtless because it was hot, we made dens in the den because it really was that big.
We did have some sort of supper and may have watched a little bit of video but mostly we tanked and then got called down for sparklers at midnight and they didn't go home until 0137 and it was all rather good really.

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