6 Pints adrift without a Lifebelt: DUI

Met Jof in the toilet at 10am, such wonderful timing that she had to go downstairs. After breakfast I complained constantly but that didn't stop us going shopping. We walked to large ASDA to buy a special shirt for the New Year's Eve party but ended up getting a Minecraft book and a Santa hat as well: Jof bought a car, as you do.
By LIDL is a car shop that particularly likes to sell to soldiers but you don't have to be in the army if you don't want to. Jof listed all the things she wanted and the man said I don't have any of those but have a look around anyway.
I didn't want another silver car so got into one I liked and declared it to be good: I gave it the Mungle treatment which is to climb around inside it and show off my bum.
It proves that my arse can in fact predict the future because when we left Jof to it and went shopping, that's the one she bought. Perhaps I could hire out my magic bum for vehicular advice, maybe I can make some money as a rent boy.
Later the PuddleDaddies went to the pub for beer so we invaded Johnny and Robert's house so the PuddleMummies could drink Prosecco in retaliation, it's only fair.
We got presents and Nerf guns and watched Muppets and told the adults when it was time to go home by having a big fight and I cried lots.