Half-Past Forty

Jof had to go back to work today but we didn't, so I got up distinctly after 10. Almost straight away we drove to the seafront where the prevailing winds were prevailing all over the place, I can tell you.
We threw a few rocks into the sea and the wind threw a few back. Then we met 'Half-day' Jof for lunch and I chose enormous fish and chips in John Lewis and finished it all.
Bud turns 45 today so for his birthday treat he took us to the Pyramids and it was practically empty and we didn't have to have colour-coded wristbands and the nice lifeguards had chucked a load of floats in so I tried really hard and just managed to stand up on one in surfer mode during wave alert until the nasty lifeguards told me to stop it.
We did meet ex-Puddler Emma who said there was a poo in the pool and we looked but couldn't find it. Jof filled out one of the customer complaints forms about the showers and bins and toilets and had to go onto a second sheet. In the afternoon he went for a run and she spent ages on the phone sorting out insurance for the new car so I was left on my own to gorge myself on TV and Minecraft, each to his or her own. At one point I jumped up at Jof like an excited dog and knocked her backwards into my coat rack, leaving a series of bruises on her back.
Then he installed a 40mm cannon on the side of Box 9 and hoovered it out in preparation.