If you have to carry it, it's not a dog

Scored 9/10 for getting up at 9. I started reading but wasn't allowed to for long. First we did the walk outside in the freezing cold with actual frost on the leaves in the park, and got breakfast components for tomorrow and ditched 78 bottles into the bottlebank, you know the way it is.
But then once we'd got back she said out we go again, for I have to do complicated shopping. So we drove north and gave some clothes to the homeless at the sailing centre (why can they afford to go sailing if they're homeless?) and he was telling us about this time he caught a foreign cat at the old house.
Jof doesn't like him killing cats but they're such smug so-and-sos, they sit there looking at you and saying well why aren't you giving me prawns then. And they're curious and always on the lookout for a free prawn and so this one invaded the house and he caught it. So because of the killing thing he put it in the toilet, put the lid down and flushed, and you could hear it going scrabblescrabble mrao mrao and it was one of those high-flush toilets with the water tank 6 feet up the wall so the water came down like a tsunami and then he let the cat out and it slunk off and never came back, which was the point of the exercise. So I thought this was rather drole and I wet myself giggling and went on about it so much Jof shouted at me and you just know I'm going to try it one day. Plus some fat woman came past carrying a rat so we denigrated her diminutive doggie.

So then we had burger and chips and put up the tree and the decorations and prepared for the arrival of Jofs' work friends which meant hoovering even though we pay a professional cleaner to do it for us. The friends arrived and I was bartender for a bit until Jof said push off and do boys' stuff so I played FRIV games on the computer while they nattered and tottered in their heroic yet stupid high-heeled shoes and Jof spilt Prosecco all over my reading record book that has to be marked by the teacher and how's that going to look on Monday, srsly, adults.
So us boys watched Predator 2 because it's got aliens and death and knives and guns and explosions and drug dealer turf wars, what more do you need.