Goring: not boring

Hey groovers and welcome to everyone including my newest followers. So, this was supposed to be a standard Saturday with added benefits. Oh, Yeah, Baby.

Jof had to go to work again because of the slight technical difficulty that had led to front-page headlines about banking inefficiency and so forth. Bud and I had a long-standing appointment with distant cousin Margaret A, which was only slightly dented by the recent funeral of Blind Uncle Len. We arrived by train after unrequired changes at Barnham and Angmering because we missed the through-train because of a last-minute Poo.

Originally, we were supposed to get there by the 700 double-decker bus but I was advised that each journey would take approx. 3 1/2 hours so we thought the train would be better. Well, each day is a learning experience. Once we had acquired her house, I played solitaire again and we got the 700 to the seafront where the magic sandy swingpark resides. It's a top-class goody, with sand cranes, twisty bowls, caterpillar swings, giant turtle, turning transgender pirates, climbing wall, etc. We fought the constant bleedin' wind and I positioned myself upwind of the sand buckets to stop it getting in my eyes.

Eventually we walked back up the beach past the kite-surfers battling against the unreasonable bluster and had chicken goujons in the Sea Lane Cafe, which I wholeheartedly recommend to everyone. I picked up some chalk rocks with holes in from where the south downs meet the sea.

A quick bit of rock-climbing and tree-climbing later, we headed back across the greensward like last year and through the unexpected forest. There were ditches and secret paths to the barley fields and a strange felled tree and a cricket pitch (in use) and the quickest way home, 'cos by then, I'd walked miles and I really needed chair time.

The chair in question turned out to be Buds' shoulders. We got some exotic seedlings from Margaret and hit the train network, only to have to change 3 times due to signalling errors. Met Jof briefly at home but because she has had the aforementioned technical difficulties at work for the last 2 weeks, she really needed a night off at the nightclub so she pretty well said goodbye and hobbled off in her silly spangly platform shoes that she can't walk in and was lost forever.

The extra time gave us the chance to find out that Beer'O'clock was in the Rose In June Pub so I scooted there to save leg trauma to find many of my best mates there, a few pints adrift without a lifebelt. I got stuck in sans fancy dress, sans football, but with mucho gusto and laughter. Beer festivals often mean happiness for us, although at least 2 of us got footballs in the face. In the end we scooted home with many Piddlers in tow (with decent delays at traffic lights for the adults to catch us up) and got home in time for supper and bath fizzer night (Cars Greatest Hits, Cult She sells sanctuary and some Olympic Cycling). I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow that we had to cleanse twice due to the sand residue from the Goring Swingpark.

 It was a wonderful day but can I go to sleep now?

Close but no saguaro

Happy Friday, which, in this case, is also Measuring Day! I am six-and-one-half years old this afternoon (just in time for the second broadcast of "Neighbours") so I shall be measured again.
Here are 2 cats which have obviously been to the same pub as the PuddleParents and now have late-night Moggie Munchies.
Holy Poodles, it was a day of achievements.

Today was the sponsored bounce-a-thon (and sunshine awareness day) and I bounced on a bouncy castle for money, precisely the opposite of the usual seafront fair activities. Thus we were all in shorts and sunglasses, which made it fun when it suddenly rained heavily at pickup time.

Erin and I were both representing 'Portugal' in the Olympic sports and as winners, we got Gold Certificated Awards and wristbands. Unfortunately I still call them Fertificates, just goes to show I'm Olde Englysh.

We have found out what classes we will be in next year and I will be a Year 2 Badger, with Erin and LittleMax, which has made me quarkle with joy.

I got into the Golden book for going up a reading level to 'Purple'.

I got my Level 1 swimming Fertificate for ascending to the dizzy heights of Orange Hat.

I got some new shoes that I have declared acceptable. I have grown 2.6 centimetres in the last quarter, now a stunning 117.3 cm. For an encore I drew a mushroom cloud.

Leave it, Gerald, it's not worth it

This selection of freaky fungi were waiting for me this morning in one of the recently repotted chili plant pots. Just goes to show that even mushrooms love our magic compost.

Today I took Blind Uncle Lens' metal replica soldiers to school for my show'n'tell. I had to pass them all around but I got them all back.
Thursday is my one day off from the eternal roundelay of official post-school activities. Other PuddleBoys have reinstated Thursday football but my height has not kept pace with theirs and I just can't compete.

But as we walked home, there was a vision in pink on our street which was Level 7 Babe "Pops". We discovered her mums' car window had been left open all day so we climbed in and played with the radio and hooter, which pleased all the neighbours. I was finally retrieved after 2 and a half hours of playing fun. I liked the 2 lifesize blow-up flamingoes, the medals and the big pink floral tent, which we zipped ourselves into and rolled around on the floor giggling for ages. Just like after the sleeping bag fun of a couple of weeks ago, we both emerged pink and panting.
We're still 2 off the full collection of Olympic sports-related 50p coins, but I've still done my bit for the team.

A Right Royal hot flush

Today we learnt about Sri Lanka. It is a big island where people grow tea on mountains and 100,000 people were killed by a giant salami wave that washed away all their houses.

On the way to Wednesday park today I found a red rose just lying there on the pavement, so I took it with us and presented it to JBs' mum for her birthday, for I am learning.

Us chaps had 3 footballs and 3 lightsabres so there were a few arguments and howls as fingers were clouted. But we also had a big feast of doughnuts and stuff in our "Radio Station" under the slide platform and played many games of "attempt to hit me with the football".

We did swinging and kept jumping off, Ben is quite good at it but Johnny lands on his face mostly, apart from the time he landed on his arm and we wondered whether he'd broken it like I did. They were supposed to be going to Gunwharf for their Mums' birthday treat, so a detour to A+E broken bones department would have been most unwelcome.

My school has challenged us to find as many of the 29 Olympic 50p pieces as possible. Jof has cheated somewhat as she had a new delivery of coin today and she grabbed 3 bagfuls. Surely I should get some kind of medal.....we got 24/29 on the first 3 bags. She'll swap 2 bags' worth tomorrow.

Goodbye Blind Uncle Len

Today is a bit strange in that Bud is away for the whole day so Jof has to take me to school and pick me up, then get me to Gymnastics on the bus. Therefore this shall be an automated posting that I will improve upon once I have downloaded the experiences of the day to my ghost writer.
ME
Both of them got me up today so I couldn't get away with ignoring the alarm clock, then it was into shorts and T-shirt as today is part of Gym Week. Today it was the Olympic Games and I played the part of 'Portugal'. The games were:
Jump through the hoops
Jump on the CD-sized spots (1st place)
Basketball dribble
Potato + spoon race (1st place)
Throw beanbags at the circles with scores
The final points results are not in yet, but Portugal only had 6 players whereas all the other countries had 7. In keeping with the cultural traditions of our adopted nation, we shall roll around on the floor screaming and clutching our faces.
Some time ago, I took in some number rocks for my show'n'tell. My teacher Mr Harberd found one on the beach and gave it to me. He went to college with Pete Codling, their maker.
In the afternoon we took the second bus to Gymnastics after the first one drove right past us without stopping. I nearly got my level 6 badge but cannot as I'm not strong enough to do a chinup. Jof bought me a packet of Hula-hoops and one of them was a mutant - a Hula-Tube.
Outside the Mountbatten Centre is a swingpark I have visited many times. But it has been upgraded! It now has a new road layout area with traffic lights and a give way sign, 2 new spinning things and a caterpillar see-saw.
HIM

He drove for miles to Worthing to collect Cousin Margaret and then on to Kent. The church (and everyone in it) was old, grey and up a hill which was fun for Grandmas' wheelchair. There were songs and prayers and he read out a poem. Len spoke 7 languages and served in the Army, Civil Service and probably a couple more agencies, due to wartime secrecy. He was President of several charities, Beneficial organisations etc including the British Legion. Then there was a party at the pub over the road and then it was back to the house to pick up some paintings and stuff. I got a set of little toy soldiers and he got a nice veneered box full of commemorative coins and medals. 

Jimmies: well and truly rustled

 This is Lonesome George. The last of the Pinta Island subspecies of the Giant Galapagos Tortoise, he has died at the relatively young age of 100 or so. He was officially the rarest animal in the world. Because there were no girlie tortoisettes, he left no children which has made him even rarer, bad planning if you ask me.
I am making my own bazooka (mostly from toilet roll tubes) and used up another 20 yards of sellotape in its construction. Book of the week is "Aircraft" with new and interesting words like Turbofan, experimental and combustion.
For Beavers we did a walk down to the park by the mad hospital and from there straight to pick up Jof from work. Her work had a computer meltdown and the whole country is angry with them so they have had to stay open late.
At bedtime Jof played me at Top Trumps (new variety - Marvel Superheroes!) but only for a while as I tend to get overexcited. She was telling me to be quiet and sit down so she could explain something, I was doing starjumps on the bed while singing the "Dah-Dah-Dah" song and I accidentally clonked her in the face again. She shouted at me, don't know why, I was being perfectly calm and still.

Snore (ten meters)

Shaken awake by Jof at 0930. She was the first to wake up, not normally a problem on a Sunday but today is Boberts' birthday party at Football'R'us at the unreasonable-for-Puddlers hour of 10am.

We arrived a little bit late but it was only the warm-up which was indeed required on this icy windy morning.

I got a certificate for best at Cat and Mouse and my team won the football match at the end, because Bob picked us all to be on his team. The party bags contained whistles so obviously we all started straight away and were summarily ejected by the parents to blow them at the other end of a big field. Then we gave Ben a lift home.

I willingly went to Sainsburys' because I got the promised trip to Kirby swingpark again where we tried out the uterus-on-a-pole ball game. I'm not very good at throwing the ball accurately but I got the hang of it in the end.

While he ran and she napped, I got to watch the dinosaurs film again. Then, just when I was busy Legoing, he dragged me round to Bens' house only to remove me 5 minutes later, before I'd had a chance to build a really good Lego Hero. I moaned and whinged so much I lost all TV privileges which was a shame as we seemed to have a new TV to watch the England match on, shame we lost. It had been taking up valuable space in Bens' garage so now we have it. Our old one may go to Nanna.

Brothers and sisters (pump up the William)

After my bionicle victory at the charity shop last week, we walked to Fratton where there's a greater concentration of such shops and went in all 5. OK, so we only came out with 2 fizzers, a truck and a book called Dragon Mountain, but it was still worth it.

On the way back we passed by Portsmouth Football Club's home turf and admired the out-of-this-world graffiti. It's constantly renewed and there's so much wall space that everyone seems to have a go. A lot of it is "Tags" which are pretty impenetrable but many are clear and all are made by skilled hands.

 Today is Masons' birthday party at unknown venue "Krazy Kaves". Mason is a new boy in my class, he came up from Rabbits when Rohit was demoted for being too stupid. We have bought him a Lego racing car. The format was the same, Bud played 'silly assassin' and I attacked him with help from Harvey, George A, Teddy and many other unknowns who spotted the opportunity to beat up an adult (little do they know) and joined in. During the party food bit afterwards, I did the obligatory wearing 3 hats as devil horns and then something new - a hat-throwing fight broke out and the staff had to come in and restore order.

When we got home, Ben was standing by our front door, which was a nice surprise. Jof had arranged a game of cricket as Ben and his Dad had been ejected from their house so fumigation could take place. We legoed and legoed while housework was done around us.

Eventually we did venture to the park and had a most enjoyable if disorganised game of rounders in amongst the piles of dog poo: we found the small football flew better without getting blown away by the wind. We all got a go batting, bowling and fielding.

On the way back we had a go in swingpark for you cannot pass up a chance to spin a 2 year-old too fast on the turning wheel. Originally the plan was to watch TV while Bud went for a run but parklife is much better. Gardeners' corner: 35 different species of flowers in our back garden today.
During bath fizzer night I played with my submarine so youtube videos to follow were: clips of subs test-firing tomahawk missiles and a montage of nuclear explosions and their associated destruction. They're such big bombs that even their light is poisonous so we can't ever use them.

Heri et cras: dies nobis

Happy Friday to all!

I got a sticker for  neat handwriting and a head bump note. I wonder if the two are related.

At swimming today I managed to swim the whole length of the pool without stopping or holding on to the side - the only pupil to do that! I must be improving.....

As we were parking Pops tootled us as she parked next to us. Obviously that was an invitation to her house so I disappeared into her wendy-house outside to play with her and her rabbit which seems to want to poo in the playhouse rather than on the lawn, which is traditional for rabbits. She now has a bed, chaise longue, chairs and a carpet in there so we got up to all sorts for ages. After all, she is the equal top most beautiful girl in my friend-circle.
Eventually I was dragged home for supper and the Germany Vs Greece Euro Football match which is a match made in economists' heaven - the bailout Derby.

Bionicle Ben: the longest day

Summer equinox me up, Scotty. You can be sure I've been lording it at school all day about my upcoming inaugural broadcast, probably earning me a clout from Erin.
Today was the promised Ben. I haven't seen him for ages apart from yesterday so he came round today to play with the bionicles and lego electric train and to eat Wotsits, for we are a simple folk with simple desires.
Straight away we disappeared into my bedroom for heroism. Ben made FireKing and I made ClawKing, and we made a lot of fireking loud clawking noises.

At some point snacks beckoned so we came downstairs to look at his new book, which is about football and footballers. He is currently obsessed with Stephen Gerrard and his second novella will be a biography of the Scouse captain. Some may remember that his first publication was "The life cycle of the hovercraft" which went aluminium in 8 countries.

By now we were in the Lego room (not the Lego Hero room) and got busy with the train and associated bits. Later, in what with 20:20 retrospect I now agree was a tactical error, we decided to dismantle not only the track but the trains as well, forgetting that it took us 3 days to build the £100 set in the first place and that's why they live in their own special box. Ho Hum: they shall be reincarnated at some point in the future. It's 'cos Ben's so stupid.... who am I kidding. It's my fault. Everything's my fault, just like Bud keeps telling me. Well, apart from Enosis/Grexit, I'm not taking the rap for that.....

The Boys are back in town

Victories in school today: I have been awarded a certificate for choosing the winning book in the "Picture Book Category 2012" as run by the school library service. I am in the dark about this as much as you.
I also did a self-portrait with purple shoulder length hair: I freely admit it makes me look like a girl but I had to smack Bud when he asked if that was a deep-down desire.
In other news, the world is honoured that I am to do my first telecast from Fratton Park football ground in July. The Olympic Torch will be lit in an early-morning ceremony broadcast live around the world. There will also be a dance performance, a singathlon, a speech by the Mayor, poetry performance, breakfast and chance to meet Linvoy Primus (again) and some sports challenges and street dancing - all before school starts! Holy Poodles! OK, so I'm one of 450 schoolchildren attending the televised event, but I'm gonna be famous, baby.....

This was the last day of sun before the next weather front kicks off. We knew this so Jof suggested we go to Canoe Lake splashpark instead of normal swingpark. The JoniBobs were unable to come because of some kind of gardening project but Mr Ben met me there while I was playing with the Flynn/Eva/Cosmo collective. There were many little people in the waterpark area and many of them were nude or soon were as one little delinquent with a taste for removing and stamping on his own pants gave this sterling idea to all the others. This made decent photos difficult to acquire. Anyway we splashed and danced and quarkled in that strange ululating way that only children in fountains can do. Problem was, the sun had gone in a bit and there was an onshore breeze so soon enough (once Ben had weed against a tree in full sight of the car park) we disembarked from the squirt-O-tron and dried off for snack #1. Then it was a predictable move back to the tunnel for some digging and arm wrestling with some random kid who was older but thinner.

Snack 2 saw us back on the benches for football and that special kind of lawn tennis where you try to throw the ball into the tree. Our reward for no apparent reason was ice creams from the horrendously aromatic cafe by the lake. We both chose the "Clown" shove-able lolly thing with silly red hat and integral train whistle which made a passable toot unless you really blew hard, in which case it made a strangled squeak that brought every dog for miles bounding over to eat us. Here we are with our plastic hats: Ben is sporting that special colic-rictus that speaks of many years crouching over a small bucket. On the way home we passed the JoniBobs parked outside the Deep Blue Fish'n'chip emporium so we know they're OK.

In the end we thank Jof for her typical maternal interference as the change of venue was very welcome, even if the weather didn't hold up its end of the bargain. We both had a great time and there was no hint of whinge whatsoever.
Sang myself to sleep with the special ditty - "I'm going to be on TeeVee, Ah'm gonna be on TV, I'm gonna be on TV....."

Let thighbones be thighbones

To school today in gym kit as I'm walking to Rubys' school for a gymnastics festival. Then this afternoon is my first day back at the gymnastics centre. So, a physical day, then. I got a certificate but then so did everybody else.

In other news, Bud and Jof have been married 13 years today (not unlucky for me) and Blind Uncle Len will get fired and crunched into dust next Tuesday so Jof will have to take me to Gym on the bus. Today it took half a hour to get there and half an hour back - rush hour.

Erin has 3 guinea pigs (they must have multiplied already) - Patch, Spot and Splat.

England even managed to win at football again!

Ode to Cheese (Fromage Homage)

The beginning of an even more complicated week. Today my name was pulled from the sorting hat and I will indeed be accompanying the Olympic Torch on its historic journey through Pompey. I may yet get detailed for the 0645 ceremony, so there might be historic histrionics. Aha.

As it was sunny we hit the park but Erin was busy. I hooked up with some small people and played throw the ball into the tree. This enabled me to get lots of fresh mud into my damaged knees, thanks Bud for putting me in shorts on this lovely hot day full of running around.
At Beavers I drew aeroplanes and spelt my surname incorrectly but did some aerial bombardment of key military targets by flying around going "Rrrrr-rrr" and dropping beanbags onto people. Second pudding was the top-end Cornish ice cream from BensMum.

A death in the family

Up at 10am, that's what Sundays are for. Before Sainsburys we visited Kirby swingpark which has animals as well as all the usual favourites. There were signs up saying please don't feed the goats any more as they're getting fat and arthritic. There were loads of cockerels and fat rabbits and ducks and zebra finches and cockatiels. I got a go on the swinging basket for I am now a pro. It's a pretty good place for a climb and a swing, makes a nice change from the nearby ones.

At home Bud rang Grandad to say happy Fathers' day but found out that Blind Uncle Len has finally died at 92 (Jof said he wouldn't live to see next year). I shall send Bud up to represent me at the funeral and to thank him for the £9,000 he's put in special accounts for me over the years. Blind Uncle Len was Grandma's only brother so this has shrunk our already small family. This is also tragic in that I really wanted a telegram from the Queen to do as my Show'n'tell and at 92, he was the oldest person I know.

In the afternoon I got my wish and we went to the Pyramids. I splashed and swam and jumped in and swallowed water and vomited all over the changing room floor and went down the waterslide and was there for 1 normal wave alert and the super-duper wave alert right at the end. We stayed until the lifeguards were booting people out, and I was the last out of the pool.
Once we were out I climbed the steep grassy slopes outside, ran down again - a mistake. I crumped into the road and totally skinned both knees and an elbow. O how I howled.

Then somehow I conned them into taking me out for dinner so we went to the Harvester up the Eastern Road and I had 2 bowls of salad and didn't like the pasta I ordered.

Free systems upgrade with bonus package!

I have a sore throat so breakfast was orange jelly. However we set off on the normal bottlebank trip with hearts held high (a good trick if you can do it). In the charity shop we didn't get a 20p car. We didn't get a bath fizzer. But some kid had ditched his Lego Bionicle (compatible cousin of Lego Heroes) collection and so we spent a frenetic 20 minutes emptying out the 20p bargain bucket. We finally came away with enough Lego Bionicle bits to make 6 complete Bionicles with a healthy selection of pugnacious add-ons, several of which I've never seen before. This cost us the princely sum of £2, and the coup was comparable in volume to my existing Lego Hero collection. We then had to go next door to the we-are-closing-down shop and get a bigger box. The hero box I already had will now be used for my 20p cars, because their box was small and broken. Upgrade me up, Scotty. Umad, Ben?

After lunch Jof took me to Toys'R'us. I got 2 Moshi monsters and a Lego railway station for the Lego electric train. It has a taxi, bridge over the 4 extra bits of track and sliding doors in the station building.

Who knows what I've done to deserve all this. We spent ages making the station and lots of humans to wait at it, then I lost interest and started setting up "Frustration", a game Jof bought for us all. Bud lost interest and went to do the washing up.

Thank goodness for bath fizzer night.

Ginsmoke!

Happy Friday to all. Yes, I know there's a gale outside, the rain's coming in through the roof and the flowers have rotted in the beds. But switch on all the lights, put on a straw hat, have an ice cream and pretend that it's the middle of June.

You've gotta laugh. We know that the Olympic torch will be running through our town this time next month. The PuddleDaddies have already discussed going down to the seafront on that evening for the fancy show us taxpayers are putting on. And what letter comes home in my book-bag today?

"Dear Parent, we need 6 pupils to be part of this once-in-a-lifetime event, we'll draw names out of a hat of all kids with 100% attendance." And how many kids have 100% attendance? Chloe and I, who just so happen to be the school councillors.

Poor Erins' first fish "Nemo" has died and been buried in a touching toilet-related ceremony. I'm afraid I laughed when I heard, and she wasn't best pleased. Fortunately, today is Guinea Pig day: she has saved up all her pocket money to buy Winky and Blinky.

In other news, my swimming instructor has (finally) given me the docket that enables me to get the certificate (stage 1) and badge for moving up to Orange Hat. It's just non-stop right now.....England even won at football!

♪ ♫ in a sleeping bag built for two ♫♪…

The good thing about being 6 is there's so much to look forward to.

Today I got "Best Student" sticker for correctly saying "The dog dug a hole" instead of "The dog digged a hole" which is what everybody else said, and also instead of "Digadogadugadigadogadug" which is what Bud says.

Then Pops appeared and we ate brioche and played Lego, a lengthy roleplay with goodies, baddies, villagers and ships of all nations. It was when we needed toast that we found the sleeping bag still on the floor from Beaver camp.

It certainly did get toasty from there.
Later we found that my regulation red swimming hat has been 'Tidied Up', the third time this has happened. I shall have to buy another one tomorrow. Sigh.

SillyBillyTilly on demand

Even tho' I tried to warn ya

The local girls would likely scorn ya

Ever since you were born ya

Tried to move to California

=========

There was a brief gap in the monsoon, so  took the chance of a Wednesday park.

The JBs had seen us crossing the road and got in before Ben, then later we had a bonus Pops and Baby Edward. We swung and climbed and argued over who was on whose football team and all got a thwack from Boberts' light sabre.

The sun came out and it was warm! Not surprising, as it's mid-June, as long as it isn't actually pouring, it's nice.

We played the football-tag hide'n'seek combo game with our shirts off until Ben kicked his big heavy football right into my forehead and got a straight red card from Madame Gazelle, his mother. We ambled off pretty soon after that. On the way home I scored a date with Pops tomorrow and as we opened the door, the phone rang and it was the gymnastics centre telling me I'd got to the top of the waiting list! I've been there before so I won't be a noob. What a day.....