Gawd bless 'er Maj

Everyone knows that it rains on the Bank holiday. Thus, to fool it, we are holding our Puddle Jubilee party exactly one week late. Well, that, and it gives Ben the chance to fly back to this country. 

We worked frantically from dawn to get the place ready. We swept and hoovered and inflated balloons with both air and helium and put up flags and then it rained a bit. A couple of PuddleMummies did drive-by dumpings of special Cornish ice cream and a special chair for her Maj in case she drops in and it was all fun. Jof has made an epic trifle (a piece of resistance) and there was no end of flags, which seems to be a speciality of the house.

Once the Puddlers were duly installed in the back garden, BensMum sternly laid down the law about yellow cards and warnings and how we might have to call her Miss Whiplash if we were bad. Immediately the party polarised down traditional party lines, the chaps stood at the bonfire end and monitored the charring of bits of dead animal. The chapesses sat in the sun and drank suspicious cocktails of many colours with leaves in them. We all went inside and got stuck in to the art box.

We kept up the good work for hours and hours with random interludes such as:

The Bran Tub

This was a brightly coloured box of cut-up tissue paper with many small prize-delights hidden within. We all got several goes and came away with bags of sweeties, little pen things in the shape of balls, and the favourite - mini-grabbers which Erin discovered were quite good for nose-picking. Then the (almost) empty tub was hidden on top of the microwave. Not well enough. Ben inter alia retrieved it, the remaining delights raided and strips of tissue paper were scattered throughout the house. BensMum got very strict and handed out cards and admonishments, for she is a professional dinner lady and knows how it's done.

The Pinata

Fast becoming a Puddle Tradition, no major Puddleparty can be without one, and this party was booked a year ago when we discovered that Her Maj was going Diamond. We have had a variety of mis-shapen pinatas, and this one was dogged by misfortune. The balloon deflated twice, leaving the poor thing saggy. Jof painted it to resemble the Queen but the hangy thing failed immediately, it wouldn't even go on the broomstick. So we had to put it in a plastic bag and we all banged it twice with one of those sturdy sycamore staves we liberated from Hilsea nature reserve. Once we'd committed group regicide we fell upon the battered cranium and devoured its contents. (Braaaaiiins....)

Cracklebombs

Invented during a bonfire party with Ben, simply get one common or garden industrial clingfilm tube and stuff one end with dried evergreen branches. It's easy to hold and throw into the fire and the oily leaves go up a treat with a noisy hiss-crackle and warming yellow flare. 23 had been prepared for us and indeed, we all got a go and some of us did a few. But apart from the cracklers and a few random tubes and things we mostly left it to the adults. The bonfire was a bit of a part-time attraction for us but nice to visit.

Heroic Poses

At some point the chaps were just checking the football scores when BensDad was roped into sorry volunteered to help us make suits of armour out of paper. Mostly we wanted to be Lego Heroes but I believe Bobert got to be a Goa'uld System Lord, Erin was 2 people, Ben had a jetpack and I had a 3-bladed trident/sword cross with "Kill" written on each part of it. Here we see Queen Erin knighting Hero Ben with a Winchester rifle, as you do.  

We all got top quality ice creams and were allowed to put on our own toppings including sparkly candles: all the helium balloons got tangled together, Elizabeth got her face painted, we were put in front of Happy Feet 2 but nobody watched it, and in the end we burnt the Freaky Boy Scout at the stake. Can we do it all again please?