Near Mrs. (Telling Desiree from Dies Irae before you marry them)

Second and last day off school because of my jetting bottie. And people used to want to join the jet set.
Finally forced out of bed at 1030 by the need to poo.

Brunched, went to the garden centre to buy large bricks for the new bonfireplace, and visited the toilet again before going for a walk. Wandered down to tunnel park as slowly as possible. Saying I'm as slow as a cabbage* is an insult to brassicas: I continentally drifted down the road. Climbed on the new frame in the park, the only occupant. Think the pre-walk poo meant I had time before the next one? Think again. Fortunately the public convenience in Tunnel Park is tiled and echoes well so everyone in the park could hear my happy warblings.

Gargled, hootled and wowed my way back home. We passed my school at kicking-out time so arranged with ErinsMum to take Erin off her hands for a while. Erin and Bud continued their collaborative 40th B'Day card and we ate chocolate and played instruments. It was such good fun we almost all got hiccups from laughing so much. When Erin wouldn't let me write my own message on the card it all went wrong. She tore up my picture, I tore hers up and we took it in turns to glare, throw pens, kicks and insults at each other. Against strict instructions Bud gave her some of my chocolate rabbit, so I tipped my other-worldly possessions onto the bedroom floor and hid under 3 different beds. Eventually this was too much so we had to take her home so I could be sent to Coventry, apparently.

Poocount today: 6. Might be 7, I forget.

*Yes. Cabbages are exceedingly slow. This is why rabbits are so fat, because cabbages are so easy to catch.