Thursday, 3 March 2011

An infinite number of Mungles

The everyday lives of baggage handlers at Windhoek Airport

All baggage must be thrown at all times. Any employee found placing a bag onto a trolley faces instant dismissal.
Only one conveyor belt to be functioning at any one time. If at all possible, make it the squeaky one at the far end. The little plastic flaps should always have 2 suitcases stuck just behind them and a steady build up should eventually overflow into the garbage by the back door, for easy collection by cousin Mtumwe.
Belts should whine continuously even when not in use.
Ability to speak no languages whatsoever an advantage: particularly when irate travellers have questions about where their suitcase went or what the $50 charge is for.
Toilets and eating areas to be emptied once a month and preferably interchanged.
The coffee machine must only accept out of date Mexican pesos and will only give change in 25 centime coins. (Tea only available)
The distance between the check in desk and the departure lounge must be at least 3 miles, including 5 staircases and a reverso-trav-ee-lator. However, the distance between the end of the runway and passport control must not exceed 10 feet.
At least 30% of all baggage must be sent to Luxor with a 10% leeway for dispatch to Singapore.
bransbury park barclays open spaces for sport
Lovely day for it. Shame about the temperature
This afternoon was football day again. BensMum had asked me if I was going, I wasn't keen. I said I'd go to watch and also to see if the council had replaced the climbing frame in Tunnel Park so Bud drove us down there. They have: we'll investigate at the weekend.
He'd brought a bouncy ball so Ben and I played throw/kick with Bobert. This was an ideal warm-up for the official football. As soon as Bud told me it was football time I objected heavily, poured scorn on the idea, denouncing it as a Papist plot to unseat me as rightful heir. I was dead against it and ran blubbing from the ground, reaching the other side of the basketball court before he caught me. I hid in a corner and resisted all entreaties from the coaching staff before I discovered it was brilliant fun and never looked back. The practice with the bouncy ball gave me Goalie skills so I asked - and was put in goal. I saved more than I let in.
By hometime I was hot, the Puddleparents were freezing and we all went home.

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