Friday, 18 March 2011

Lost in translation

You know when you and your mates have had a good night on the fizzy pop and something comes back to bite you in the bottom, even if it's "What goes on tour, stays on tour"? Well, during the JoniBobs' Xmas party the parents said that when the seven of us get together and start talking rubbish to each other, it might as well all be in a foreign language. So there we were, under the dining table, having an animated discussion, little did we know that we were being bugged.....

MAX    Donder dit. Ek het om te gaan en crap weer. En raak nie aan my goed wanneer ek weg is of ek sal jou doodmaak dood te maak.
POPPY Ik veeg mijn eigen bodem. Ik wil niet dat andere mensen zien mij naakt. Ik speel liever kittens.
BEN   Sie sind mit einem Lachen, nicht wahr? Einfach dasitzen und schauen verloren und sie werden deinen Arsch für Sie zu wischen.
ERIN   Iustus es baby magna. Cum primus minister factus ero comedisti leonibus. Afferte crisps aliquam elit.
JOHNNY  Mi chips? Stuff chips, vigyen puding! Ezek felhasználása a puding 4. osztály Minesweepers, tudod.
BOBERT Custard piratai! Aš užpuls jūsų papūga su savo milžinišką tiršta pistoletas! Roar! Noriu dešros.
BEN  Din patetisk vaniljesaus gun er ingen match for min bankende lette sabel, du store homofil grevling.
MAX  Cristo, que es mejor. Ahora vamos a hacer una trampa para Bud y matarlo. Dame mi rifle de vuelta.
(STRUGGLE ENSUES)
ERIN   Bud! Han kommer inte låta mig leka med sitt vapen, och jag är hungrig. Det är inte rättvist. Göra allt bättre.
BUD        *Burp* Shut up, sneezebucket, I've never sheen this woman before in my life, offisher
JOF           Oh, you poor little dooblebooble. Everyone stop being nasty. I will sing to you.
BETH     Este groselha gustos squash de uvas e faise miñas pernas Bambi. Vostede é o meu mellor amigo.
BEN     Non posso essere mandato a quel paese con questo. Ognuno ottenere uno strumento, in fila dietro di me e andiamo parata con orgoglio.
POPPY   Ek het net een hollander vir my xilofoon! Dit is nie in my kontrak! Al wat jy seuns is net sweet Ninjas.
BEN           Puc usar els seus polaines? Són totalment meu color.
===========================================
A crack team of polyglots from the UN translation bureau are working on this ciphertext (from the covert radio intercept) and hope to bring you the cleartext version by 0400 tomorrow.

arranging toys halfway up the stairsRed Nose Day so wore red trousers, top and coat. I also sprayed my hair red and Jof's hair red this morning before leaving for school: I tried it out on Bud last night (bit of an oxymoron, using hair spray on Bud, well he said something about moron anyway). In the afternoon I went round Pop's place because it's great and she's got a train track. We arranged all the trains and signalboxes in a long line down the stairs as a defensive measure but all the signalbox soldiers we sent into the dining room were trodden on. They shall not be forgotten. Staying for dinner (feet under table indeed) - salmon!

can I have some more? stealing your mother's food
Can I have some more, please.....

 A mere 4 1/2 hours later PopsDad delivered me home. On my way out Pops kissed me really hard - harder even than when Nanna does it. I feel Top of the Pops!
Bud and Jof were having supper - Kedgeree. I used the prawn crackers to clean both of their plates, strange how parents won't object to you eating their food. Eggs, fish, rice and peas with just the smallest tickling of curry powder - how come I haven't been fed this ambrosia before?? Recommendations to all PuddleParents.....

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