Dick Greeting; Private Investigator

As I said, we're now learning Mayan. Of course, it's easy to get these fine and noble people mixed up with the Toltecs or the Aztecs or the Incas, whether they count themselves Mixtecs and spoke Nahuatl or not.

And then once you spread the tribes out over the various centuries of rise and fall, it's difficult to remember who sacrificed who, who culturally influenced, invaded or were subjugated by whom.

But you can't beat a load of obsidian-knived human sacrifice with the hearts held aloft and the blood running down the steps and the pyramids and blocks and tunnels and calendar stones and feathered priest-beasties and fish gods and hallucinogenic ritual chanting.

And given that they gave us pineapples, maize, avocados, chocolate, tomatoes, potatoes and sunflowers, you've got to wonder what we did for food before we found them. And killed them. And gave them interesting diseases and called all the survivors Jesus or Juan.

But if you've ever learned a new language in class, you always learn a sensible beginner's word like 'Hello' and then someone's older brother who's already doing the A-level tells you the translated word for 'willy' and even if you drop out of the class after 3 days, these are the ones you remember for the rest of your life.

So now we know that 'Tepuli Mixpantico' translates to 'Penis Hello' and is of course the origin of 'Dick Greeting: Private Investigator' the character who spawned 3 books and 7 TV series on networks across Mesoamerica.

In other news, I have not been selected for the Great Swimming Tournament because I didn't take my swim-kit to school 2 days ago. It is from transient crushing tragedies like this that lifetimes of psychotherapy are formed.

He was late picking me up but I still managed my run around the park and some time on HayDay before we did Wednesday Park Proper. It might have been cold but it was not dark which just proves that spring is on its way and the park was quite full of known faces, and friends we have not yet met.

We all worked hard with the giant tennis ball and the consumption of sausage rolls and gradually some girls joined in our game of tag. One of them is the girlfriend of one of the core group and she brought some female friends and they tittered and ran away (but not too far) and is this where it's really all going to change forever?

Council workers in orange Hi-Vis jackets interviewed adults about their fear of local crime, and overhead, 2 jet fighter planes chased each other from Winchester to the Channel and back several times at low altitude. We were the last to leave, and it was getting quite nippy.