Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Captain Ridley's Shooting Party*

cold beer is importanter funny highway signpost advertDue to better weather, Jof cycled me into childminding this morning, a ten minute journey if you dawdle. But it took us 20 minutes because of my lack of attention -
"Turn left at the end of the road"
"What?"
"Turn left at the end of the road"
"What road?"
"The road we're on"
"What?"
And so forth. Of course, this is because Jof forgot to install V 3.2 of the Headslap Alertness Emulator, a windmill-shaped device that fits onto the side of the bike helmet. Powered by the rear wheel via a pulley system, it spins slowly administering endless spanks to the head of the sleeping child, keeping him alert.
For childminding we did restful games followed by violent games, girls against boys which was very unfair, 7-0 and 1 draw, when both goalposts collapsed. We also did a clue-hunt in which we discovered the church was built in 1866. When picked up I had hurting leg syndrome from yesterday and dragged one foot behind me like a lightly fried Terminator going ow ow ow but he still made me do gymnastics.
Apparently I might have to adhere to the school-recommended bedtimes instead of grudgingly turning off my light at 10pm. After I was asleep, Jof came home with enough fruit to sink an elephant, having won 'Slimmer of the Week' again.
*'Captain Ridley's Shooting Party' was the cover story for the population of Bletchley Park Code-breaking centre before the hostilities of the 2nd World War broke out. The Autumn term begins tomorrow

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