Monday, 29 September 2014

Vorsprung Dork Technik

engineering representation symbol of resistorToday is the beginning of our "Healthy Living and Staying Safe Week" at school. So to balance out all those lifestyle lessons I spent breakfast swearing at the coloureds, nakedly invoking satan with the curtains open, idly browsing using my corporate email account and smoking some opiated full-fat Yangtze River Dolphin butter washed down with Jack Daniels and not washing my hands after having a poo.
portsmouth and southsea safer neighbourhood team police bike security markingWe did basketball shots in house teams and boxing which is basically dancing and waving your arms about because it's totally non-contact at this age, I mean, how long would I last against Ben or James? We got to watch the slow-mo video of someone sneezing, and learned how to wash our hands.
year 4 advertising poster schoolwork project
On the way home we saw a group of police in the park. Instantly we sprinted/scooted away from them at top speed but actually because they were the bike security-marking police, not because we have skeletons in the cupboard, honest. Got a perfectly good basement for the skeletons.
Racing back, they had not yet packed up to leave and they marked my bike and recorded the frame # and took our details, what model citizens we are, all part of the staying safe theme.
At home I finished my Willy Wonka poster using only 4 blatantly plagiarised internet photos and some overdone colouring. I'm sure those Oompa-Loompas are the wrong colour.
I only grew 1 centimetre in the last 3 months and may have to give up my dream of joining the Harlem Globetrotters.

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