Trolling for goats.x

Following my recent opening night performance in front of the parents of Foxes (and attracting rave reviews from the Erins) the Broadway run will finish tonight for a lucky audience of Otter parents. It's been fun getting into the character of the troll.
I was perfectly cast given my roaring, aggressive tax-collection and willingness to tear immature ruminants limb from limb.

I gained 30 pounds and 3 horns for the role and will enjoy method-acting preparation for future parts such as 'Irate Midget in charge of bank vault', 'Hyperactive patient flying over cuckoo's nest' and the eponymous 'Corporal Flashback'.

'Billy Goats Gruff' review

As is the nature of entire-school-year events, a part must be found for everyone. Thus upon entry, the parents can see the whole of Year 1 all lined up in a variety of inventive costumery. Sections included Musicians, Pigs (one cannot stage a fairy tale without at least some pigs), Dancers, Narrators, Clumps of Dead Grass, Verdant Pastures, Wolves (one cannot have a fairy tale with Pigs in without having at least some Wolves to balance), Humpbacked Bridge Support Struts and River.

Then of course there were the lead characters: 3 Billy Goats of assorted sizes, and at the top of the tree, Me (well, under the Bridge, but who's counting). An ebullient opening saw Erin's Dance troupe prance over to indicate the River and other support roles: there was quite a lot of singing while the Musicians of Rabbits class rattled their instruments. The first of 6 Narrators introduced me. I got my own song and got to scare away the Pigs who approached my Bridge without first transmitting their passcodes.

I grimaced and posed. I was awesome. I was fearsome! Sadly the treacherous Goats kept fobbing me off with promises of greater meals to come.

There was a certain amount of waiting around while the Musicians brandished their bones and bells, for every lead character gets their own song. I showed willing and my generous nature by sparing the lives of the first two Goats who wished to leave the predatory Wolves on their Clumpy-Dead-Grass side of the River to reach the admittedly much greener Verdant Pastures on the other side. A little bit more waiting while the next song was cued up and the 5th Narrator picked up his script, then I was betrayed by the third Goat and fell to my doom in the River, who flapped some blue sheets vigorously to cover my scrambled exit from the production.

Thus came the massive triumphant finale with the entire chorus line waving their hands in the air and cheering my demise. We got 3 rounds of applause and while bowing gracefully, I decided I want to be a star, what with all that adulation of the girlies. Erin will be too if she continues to dance so well. Overall, the performance was excellent, everybody on stage knew their lines and it was well organised.

We were out so early that we drove down to Jof and gave her the car keys so she didn't have to wait for a bus. In retrospect we should have paid for a parking ticket, but got away with it again.

I cycled through the automatic doors right into the bank as it was empty, and cycled out again when a customer arrived.

We were right by the seafront so I visited my silicaceous brethren on the seashore (they were still asleep as the sun was up, I have protective cream so can be active during daylight hours) and climbed the pyramids again. At canoe lake some local schoolchildren and I saw the newest member of Portsmouth Model Boat society taking a big orange remote-controlled boat called Space Invader out for a spin, avoiding swans. It was awesome. Can I have a boat please?