Monday, 8 August 2011

The taking of Pelican 113

wondrous arrival at butlins check in deskconfusing signpost - caution tomatoesStrange, but true. Because we were going away for 5 days worth of drying time it was the best time to re-mastic the bathroom. While he did that, Jof balanced loading the car with my incessant demands to play hide and seek. And then..... we're off! 35 minutes later, we reached Butlins Bognor.
burger king outlet butlins bognordune buggies ride butlins bognor regisflying rockets rideJof booked us in while we went investigating directly into the large playzone climbing apparatus: very tall and extensive. Jof told us we'd been 'accidentally' upgraded from "Silver Room" to "Wizzo apartment" so hooray. I went on the free cars, teacups, bouncing ladybirds and rocket planes. Unexpectedly hungry, we had "Burger King" and I crowned myself king of the table. Outside there were dune buggies. One girl didn't understand the Go pedal and just sat there while everyone bumped her in passing. Then we had a go on the twirling pirate boat and watched the noisy multicoloured drummers. Then because she was still carrying the swimkit, Jof insisted we visited the giant pool. It's massive in there, bigger than the Pyramids. We tried out the terrifying boat ride (another load of expletives I haven't heard before), the orange waterslide, the "Norman" whiteslide, wave pool and spa. They also have many hoses, bubble volcanoes, giant hamster wheels and so forth but I'm only big enough to go on some of it, still, we did 90 minutes without blinking, they had to close the place to get rid of us.
playzone soft play tower butlinsAfter that it was buffet surprise at the Coral Beach. We went round twice which is the thing with buffets and I set a personal best with a 3rd course of ice cream. I poured it down my front but a lot of it went in my mouth. We snaffled many teabags, jams and sugars for tomorrow. We checked out the entertainment in the giant pointy tent: it seemed to be a world record attempt for the number of straws in a mouth. Clientele are in 3 categories: impecunious families such as ourselves with 1-7 kids, the elderly and Northeners, or a combination. The very tall pointy roof is full of lost helium balloons, Thomas Tank, Dora Ex and teddies. bouncing ladybirds ride butlins bognorThen we went to the pub for 1 beer and 1 wine (total cost £9.50) because they had thoughtfully installed an adventure playground for us important people while the parents do the boring beer duties. Even after that I constructed a lego digger while Jof unpacked and collapsed. Showertime. There is only 1 very cramped shower cubicle so I was entrusted with my own washing. I had a sponge and a bottle of bodywash to last the whole week. I soaped and shampooed and resoaped until the whole bottle was gone. I was so clean that PopsMum could have eaten me whole but I would have to stay wet and smelly for the rest of the week. Either that or use Jof's bodywash which is pink and could turn me into a girl. They made me read my own bedtime story. What a bunch of poo. During the night we heard a lot of drunken teenagers trying to find their way back to their apartments amongst the endless serried ranks of apartments (ours is Pelican Terrace #113). There were also outbreaks of seagulls.


  1. This is not a FAIL - of course one would show caution if those rosy fruits of the devil are within spitting distance.

  2. Tomatos are wonderful!

  3. There are no Es in them you know!

  4. Depends on the type of tomato!


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