Monday, 30 May 2011

SAS: black bag ops for the under 6s

For bath fizzer night I selected the Magical Mystery Tour (Beatles) and a smaller fizzer leaving the dragons' egg and the ice cream fizzers for next week. Buds' program during supper was the Antiques Roadshow in which a couple of serious chaps showed off a suspiciously large medal collection from some specialist army unit in Hereford. So during bathtime he set me the following attack scenario to solve.
selection of bath toys sas special forces attack training Dinosaur = your army of 1,000 men including artillery.
Pink seal = 6 special tough thinking soldiers.
Green duck and penguin = guards atop the very very tall walls of the castle.
Frog = king.
Objective: kill king with minimal loss of life on your side.
So for a while there we laughed and laughed and I bombarded the castle with my artillery for a bit but only pinged a few bricks off because of the very very tall and thick walls.
Then I started having better ideas (well, better than the one about dressing the army up as dinosaurs, anyway) such as:
    swedish meatballs in Ikea
  1. Dress up in the guards uniforms so they don't know you're attacking them
  2. Arrive while the guards are on coffee break
  3. Hide in the Tesco delivery lorry/dress up as laundry operatives and blag your way in the back door
  4. Dig a tunnel under the walls to put a bomb in
So together with some of his ideas (parachute in quietly in the middle of the night and use quiet knives not loud guns) I reckon we did away with that pesky frog king!
Bath time took an hour and a half: we had to play the Magical Mystery Tour twice and I got wrinkly fingers.

creche facilitiesJof wants to remodel my room and she is jealous of storage units used by both Ben and Erin so this afternoon we drove to Ikea in Southampton. I think everyone else had the same Ikea idea because we spent nearly an hour in the traffic jam waiting to get in: Jof got a bit stressed so we got out and walked to save time and met Bud in the canteen.
Ĩ håd fîsh ånd chîps bůt thë fîsh wås cövërëd în rîce crîspîës (nǿt nîcë) ånd Ĩ dîdn't fåncy åny ǿf Büds' Swëdîsh mëåtbålls. Thën thëy dümpëd më în thë frëë kîd důmpîng årëa ånd böůght më a shëlvîng ůnît ånd böökcåsë.
cruise ship balmoral setting sail from southampton docksJof hit a woman with the trolley: she went flying and caused a right royal rumpus, things always happen to Jof. Anyway it was really busy and Bud and I had a great time pushing the flatpacked trolley round the flatpacked store listening to flatpacked music and flatpacked announcements coming out of the flatpacked tannoys. Bud bought some snore which is stringy candy and the whole place was full of words that looked a bit like english but not quite.
 As we left, we waved goodbye to the cruise ship Balmoral as it left for Norway, probably for even worse weather than we've been having.
Jof did not enjoy the overall shopping experience so next time we will shop online.

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