For a given value of clever

None of my teeth are falling out. All of my friends (apart from those younger than me) have had wobbly teeth, but I feel left out. Why can't I be toothless? It's not fair.
On my way back from school there were 2 Leaping Lollipop Men operating on the same corner right outside! Is this a double-booking by the council? Is one training the other to replace him in the time-honoured fashion? Has the second been made redundant from a nearby school and is in search of pastures new and his own crossing to police? Is this the start of a vicious turf war between rival Leaping Lollipop factions? All this and more in Newsround Extra..... confused? You an' me both, Chumflet.....

 
Wednesday park beckoned once again and we took Bobert's beeping programmable tank thing back to him. Ben joined us presently and we ate Wedding party leftovers, played on the swings, climbing frames and with a stick'n'bottle combo which just goes to prove you don't have to shell out to have a good time. Then one decided to remove his shirt... soon enough all 4 of us were topless. Elizabeth arrived to join in but elected to keep her coat on because it was cold: we stayed semi-naked so as not to lose face.  

Later we planted some seeds from Johnny's Capsicum pepper and watered them in using our willies, however much our parents told us to put them away. In the end it was 2 hours 40 well spent.