Thursday, 14 July 2016

Wet Dreams and Silent Screams

kid scratches car door with screwdriverWell, it's getting to the end of Year 5 and we're winding down our academia (a kind of nut). We're still getting over the vast complexity of puberty lessons with the wet dreams and the spots and deodorant and menstrual cycles and the pads with wings and the teacher was absolutely right, we do have to keep our mouths shut about it, if a Year 3 or similar ever got to hear about it, their brains would indeed explode.
But today we invited a Year 4 class to review our Olympic-themed stop-motion films and my group got top billing! I mean, natch, but it's nice to have independent adjudication, even if it is from youngsters who don't have puberty clearance.
A new fad has broken out which seems to be moustache chase. You place a finger over your bottom lip and chase each other around. I'm not being Nazi about it, but they do look silly.
butterfly house canoe lake southseaAnyway, to make up for the lack of exercise following quitting advanced swimming lessons, I'd promised to cycle down to the seafront to give Bud a run. As long as I spent 40 minutes or so in the saddle, it counts as a workout. So we loaded up the rucksack and headed down there, the long way round. The wind was in my face and I had to get him to slow down and it hurt my legs but we got there shirtless and went into the Butterfly museum.
portsmouth natural history museumWe'd been there earlier in the season and the sign said come back from June onwards, there'll be butterflies. So we searched every plant in their hothouse, leaving no leaf unturned, found nothing, and asked the lady.
canoe lake cafe ice cream southseaOh no, she said, we're not having any butterflies this year. The hothouse is too old with big repair bills so they're chopping it down and making a big new one off to the side. Stopping only to buy a particularly blue rock, I bought a big ice cream at the café and we toured the lake in the sun and I found Ewan from acting lessons and two Year 3 girlies from my school and we played happily in the sun for ages, and I didn't tell them any of the hormonal nightmares to come. Recently somebody out in the Real-World asked me about the hand-cranked boats on Canoe Lake. They're no longer functional, but hiding in the Pedalo-Swan operator's shed.
On the way home, my bike bucked unexpectedly and I fell off, why do they do that?

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