Rodenta Fumigatore con Nemici

Well, you know, some of school was OK apart from making a new enemy loudly.

But after school I was required to run errands and perform tasks!

In the cupboard under the stairs to my new classroom you find the storage facilities for the hard-working ladies who do the school discos and parties and barbecues and fairs and all the other events that we take for granted. And because they keep leaving when their kids leave, there's always a new lot that doesn't know what's in the cupboard, or what that suspicious blue box at the far end is, or how long it's been there.

So that's why, at the fair 2 Christmases ago, I sold 37 out-of-date car fresheners to unsuspecting 3rd years because that's what Jof had found hiding in the big blue box, and it's better to sell them at 10p each for school funds than to bin them all.

Unfortunately the centuries-old build-up of detritus with added sweeties makes a perfect generational starship for mice, and that's what Jof found in the other big blue box so we had to ignore the squeaking trousers and take away all the unsold books and lost uniform and put it all in the charity box.

I therefore expect the children of Eritrea or Bangladesh or Romania to suddenly know all about Babar the Elephant and the Wrong Direction Yearbook 2012 and be dressed in hauntingly familiar garb.

Later, I was kindly invited round to a friend's house and it turns out that absolutely everyone in the world is an enemy. Bud suggests I might be the common denominator but I know it's them, they're all out to get me and they do it deliberately. At least Jof was nice.