Offsprung Durch Technik

Today I really didn't want to get up. To be fair, I usually don't want to get up but today I made a special point of it.
In school today we did another paragraph on how my animal-of-your-choice got his special power. And that's funny, because I have a special power, which is coconuts. On Saturday at the Scout stall at the Village Fayre, I had 2 goes at the coconut shy (6 undersized cricket balls) and got 4 coconuts.
I might get barred next time or told to stand in Honolulu to throw the balls, in which case I might as well pick my own luvverly bunch of coconuts.
Now, we know from the Hitchhiker's Guide that the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. But I wielded the far more efficient 2 1/2 pound lump hammer and on strike #1, the hard outer shell of Nut #1 split asunder, spilling its lifeblood all over the garage floor, which we had to wipe up.
We saved a mere driblet of coconut milk and he made me a bowl of the white lumps from inside but in an oleaginous and high-calorie dollop of irony, I hated both. I had to tell the Scoutmaster.
In Scouts we hunted for invertebrates in the churchyard, possibly practising for survival after the Zombie Apocalypse. We found predominantly snails, but also some woodlice, an earwig and a crowbar hidden in the hedge, which was confiscated even though it clearly didn't have a backbone.