Wednesday, 17 June 2015

I can see Jesus' Peanuts

bank robber with pistol and cap disguiseJars have started to arrive at school for the Jarbola. This is the stall for the school Fayre that Jof has been put in charge of, so she has kicked butt and stuck her oar in and put a cat amongst the pigeons to make it a success.
The 'Jarbola' is a tombola where all the prizes are jam jars full of trinkets and small delights for little people such as Lego bricks, sweeties, hair bands and all those other indispensable items. You never know whether you're going to get a 25p jar of lemon curd from Walmart's 'Not Quite' range or a 75 Sovereign flagon of Harrods' Java coffee. They came to me and we had to carry them home, despite it saying leave them at reception.
So we took Ben home as usual but not before he'd stood in reception waiting to get seen for so long that the kung-fu caretaker had locked the gate. We told him about the time we had to gain entry to a granny's house after she locked herself out and so we spent the journey home comparing what guns to stealthily open doors with.
picnic up a flagpolewoodchips soft landing in playpark recreation areaAlso we have been learning about tortoises at school and Miss M brought her pet Torty in to show us and it pooed and weed on the table so Ben told me about when his gerbil got a carrot stuck up its bum and the vet had to do a colonoscopy and it was the funniest thing I'd met since the Terminator threw the guy onto the cooker and I nearly did a Torty in my pants I laughed so much.
The park was very well attended with a bonus Erin and Owen the Destroyer and a guy I'd met at Scout camp and Edward who's ditched his first girlfriend when she turned 5 and LittleMax and the JBs.
I imprisoned LittleMax for murdering me because he's the only bloke smaller than me and I had to re-incarcerate him at least twice and we all had snacks, including a picnic up the pyramid of ropes.
And yet again the giant tennis ball that cost us less than £5 came into its own as we occupied all 4 swings and the 2 or 3 leftover people were ball-shooters.
schoolboys playing on swingsWe all rotated strike with various levels of generosity and the idea is, 4 people swing frantically and loudly ask for the ball and the 2 shooters try to give them the ball at the right height for the swinger to kick. Of course we're all pretty bad but there are at least 4 professional footballers in our team including Erin so if anybody hits it, it goes miles but it's impossible to control your swing. So one said give me the ball for I am your holy demon and the next guy said no, give me the ball for I am jesus and I command you and it just went on. We leant backwards, raised our eyes heavenwards and said I can see jesus' peanuts and we traded stories of how the sky rained peanuts and it's no worse than the legend of Cronos, just created by kids instead of bearded mystics with a load of mushrooms and lotus flowers.
This game went on for so long we left at ten past 6. It was very loud.

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