Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Brinky and The Magic Circle

football hits man in face failAll people of a certain height get angry every now and then, from the toddler who doesn't want to go to bed to the edgy teen that doesn't know why but is very very angry anyway. Age-suitable examples we've all had include the tantrum, sulk and shout.
Recently, in a move clearly designed to increase animosity, one of my compatriots has been renamed "The Great Indigno" by his parents, although I'm not sure they've actually taken him down to the Registry Office to get it changed officially. I myself have been threatened by being renamed Muriel but I've escaped that so far. Anyway, The Great Indigno can appear out of thin air at any time whenever his pride is punctured, which is unpredictable at best. It also explains why he sounds like a Saturday-night magician playing venues in Basildon this autumn.
Personally, my magical alter ego is the Huffalo, and he appears whenever I am discombobulated, tired or don't get my own way and I stomp through the forest in a shouty mass of anger, or more frequently, shrink into a corner like a puffer fish on a craggy limestone reef, which doesn't work either.
Thus I offer to all my friends the chance to bag a magical name of their own, perhaps the Spanish Sorcerer El Offendo or his Turkish Cousin Effendi Acrimonio. You could always assume the mantle (and cape) of Miffter Provokio, or any one of Madames Aggravata, Infuriata or Cantankerata.
lego minecraft copy virtual worldNow, I love a bit of Lego. I have Lego trains, spaceships, a full-sized dining table in my bedroom as a crafting table, and any shop I enter is ranked on whether it contains Lego or not. I like the way you can make a giant castle IRL and once you've finished pretending it's the Cyberdyne Systems building, you can dismantle it and move on.
I also like Minecraft. I play it on the tablet, I play it on the PC and on the X-box, and I spend endless hours watching Youtube videos of grown men (even if they can't grow beards) playing it in a purple haze of Nerd-dom. You can make an edifice of staggering complexity, and once you're bored of it, blow it up with TNT blocks or simply delete the world and go and play football.
Now at last, Lego have Block-Squared the Magic Circle by releasing 'Lego Worlds' in which you can assemble cyber-bricks of familiar dimensions to your heart's content! It's like Minecraft Lego on a Minecraft platform ... Biggest question is, when shall I get the time to play it? What with Minecraft, Phineas and Ferb, Klash of Klans and all that stuff I do in the real world ...
broken pinky little finger playground incidentSo anyway, there I was doing normal playground stuff when I dived down behind a bench to escape my pursuers and I bent my little finger back during a forced landing and it really hurt. So I went to the office and the room was totally full because some girl had opened her face on the playground floor and then contrived to fall over a ball on the way to the office and had opened her leg as well. Thus, 473 helpers had come with her and Nurse #1 said no chance mate, got backup medical staff #2 and #3 and they both said not on your Nellie and the parents were summoned to phone the air ambulance and that's when the room got REALLY busy.
So the Ninja Receptionist got all cross and said anyone who isn't dead or a parent of the deceased, get out of here. Then I got given a bag of ice for my swollen pinky and I went back to class, for I bravely volunteered to carry on, the pinky not exactly being a broken leg.
But after an hour it wasn't going away and I was onto my 4th bag of ice ice baby (I can give it up any time) and so Bud was summoned and he looked at it and said the last time I ignored a swelling like that, it turned out to be a broken arm so we drove to the small damages drop-in centre next to the hospital where I was born (or so it says on my birth certificate, 'created in alien gestation tank' not being an accepted method).
portsmouth drop in minor injuries clinicIn the children's section, there was only me and 4 grannies in the queue so we only had to wait 90 minutes. I watched the CBBC children's TV and agreed that all kiddie program writers eat the wrong mushrooms. Nurse #1 fondled my rigid digit a bit and said let's have an X-ray.
Nurse #2 X-rayed my shattered limb 3 times. I was briefly worried about whether it'd hurt, and it hurts as much as getting your picture taken. Nurse #3 said yes, you've actually managed to break your finger. Nurse #4 bandaged it to my ring finger and said come back next week to check if you're still alive.
We drove back to school post haste and I was there dead on time, just coming from the wrong direction. I poked my head into my classroom, and with bandaged pinky aloft, announced that I had survived the ordeal, and that I would have to type my written assignments for the foreseeable, for there are things that us chaps need our right hands for, and that is one of them.
So we picked Ben up from school, because that does not change. At home, we did Klash of Klans and giggled frantically and went to the park and met the JBs, for that does not change. But I just could not play the usual game of Giant Tennis Ball Tag, for I can't throw the ball or, indeed, get hit by it, so that was a bummer, and I sat it out, in the sun.
minecraft server game for PCThe rest played football with some girlies in spandex dance-suits (pictures not available) while I talked to Pops, but when the JBs mum came, I said can I go now and play some X-box quietly at home. But somehow the voting switched direction like a tea party when the beer turns up and all of a sudden all of us were back at mine, playing X-box and looking up new servers on the PC.
Johnny found one where you have to build a challenge item (eg a bunny rabbit, cup cake or basket-ball) in a set time and everyone gets to vote on how good your creation is. We did some voting too and declared everyone else's stuff to be Pantyhose.
And the other one was hide and seek where you are in fact a Minecraft block and people try to find you and kill you, the final form of the evolved MeinKraft player. We oscillated loudly between games and there were no appearances of Indigno, Huffalo or any of the Magic Circle all day apart from where Bud had to turn the monitor off to get them to leave. I found that my fatal injury did not stop me from operating the controls of the X-box or PC, or being noisy, and everyone was nice about it.
When Jof got home I did get sympathy but it's not like I need it, but I shall milk it a little with asking to get washed etc, for I am Brinky, the Man with the Broken Pinky.

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