Monday, 20 February 2012

Down in flames but up in smoke

insert memory card funny road sign failBack to school and another set of spelling words to learn.
I shall log my progress here once more as it is a particularly fiendish set.
Looks like many other parents have decided to "help" their offspring with the rocket project. Mine is not the tallest, and one has side-boosters like a Saturn V, but mine is the only one with guidance fins (V2-style), window and resident alien. So I'm still in with a chance.
beaver scout uniform and film clapperboardAt Beavers today Rotund Archie challenged Bud to a handicap race: Bud picked me up under one arm and rugbied me up and down the church hall. It was a dead heat which only goes to show. During the session we did road safety training: I was chosen to wear the hi-vis jacket and they shone torches at me to show the others the way. This may contribute towards my first earned badge. The cubs (occupying the other end of the hall) are doing Epileptic Fit training so our end-of-session prayer was very noisy and yet comical as they all fell down and gyrated vigorously.
I got the special award scarf for being the best behaved Beaver. The cream rises.
Before and after supper Jof and I lock horns over the Monopoly board: she will not last long.

RANT
So I'd drunk my bedtime milk and was doing my teeth before going to bed. It was for the second time because he spotted my lie when I said I'd done them properly the first time, so I was in a huff to start with. Then in he comes to have his shower, puts his towel down and switches the shower on. Of late, he has started to do a few pressups before his shower: all exercise is admirable and apparently he wishes to emerge from the sea like Meester Bond, and yet look better than BensDad did last year (or is it to compensate because we're all getting bigger). So he starts, er, pressing. He balances his feet on the box we keep the towels in and puts his hands on the side of the bath so he's 2 feet off the ground and thus not putting his nose in the dust-bunnies.
So I'm sharing the room with a naked man going to have his shower. This is not remotely unusual: I have been showering all my life and am always naked, apart from in the public showers after swimming at the Pyramids Centre. But he is in a uniquely vulnerable position and my little mind starts working.
I remember all the times that ErinsDad had pretended to pull up my coat zip and then pinged me on the nose when I look down. I remember all the times Jof has said Oi look out of the window, and then she hath stolen some of my chips. I remember the times JoniBobsDad has sent me down to ships' stores for a Long Weight, when BensMum laughed at me for walking into that girder, and all the times Bud has been unspeakably horrid to me. I think of sweet revenge.
So I run over and go dingdingding on his willy.
Of course he instantly collapses to the floor in humorous fashion, only lightly banging his head on the side of the bath as he plummets. Once he has stopped spluttering and laughing, he explains to me very loudly and at length how distinctly un-groov-alicious it is to go dingdängdöng on someone's dängler. I am still doing my teeth at this point and have generously dribbled toothpaste foam down my front as I giggle in his red face, for what exactly is he going to do back.
He resumes, having waved his finger in my face quite a lot.
I allow him to think he's got away with it, and after a few presses, I run over and go dingdingding on his dängler again. For some reason he finds no words and simply jumps into the shower and faces the other way.
I smack him extremely hard on the nearest buttock.

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