Bensun Burner

'Twas a day like any other Saturday. Jof phoned to say her parking had run out so quick as a flash we hopped on a bus and moved it, taking only an hour to get there. While at the bus stop, an old lady gave me a sweet: I elected to give it to Ben who was to be our visitor later.

As it was such a lovely day we walked to the seafront having bought exactly the same meal deal (Tuna sweetcorn sandwich/crisps/drink) as I had last time. I climbed on all the tanks and the anti-aircraft gun and fed the sandwich crusts to the ornamental carp in the pond by the D-Day museum.

Henry 8ths castle was closed so I invaded the moat and tried to circumnavigate the whole edifice, but the roof on the bombproof tunnel was too slippery and I couldn't climb it.

We left 3 Speaking Number rocks for people to find and then scrambled around on the shore to pick up some shells and even more number rocks.

Having told Jof where we'd parked the car (we got the road name wrong, so that resulted in an angry phone call later) we bussed home. Ben arrived once the football had started and we got on with the planned activity which was making a giant wooden train track. This branched out into lego and lego hero-making which meant we could scatter more stuff all over the floor.

Then it was bonfire time. We'd been collecting bits of cupboard and so forth so we had a fair amount to incinerate: the Xmas tree was dry and crackled really loudly when we threw bits on. 

The box of giant tubes from Buds' work turned out to be very useful: you can play light sabre attack, stick Xmas tree twigs in the end and burn them, in no particular order. Jof joined in by mixing various household chemicals (such as ant powder and sugar) with Sambuca and filling individual cupcake wrappers with her experimental fireworks. She looked online to find what would work the best but in my opinion real fireworks are better. We wonder whether Google have sent her details to the police for searching "homemade bomb" or similar.

The biggest box was very resilient and we had to use the pickaxe head to kill it: we read the weather forecast from inside the big drawer from the cupboard. Eventually everything was burnt and we headed back inside, our fiery work done.

We set about drawing our lego heroes and making a den under the dining table using everything in the room that wasn't nailed down. When Bud said it was time for Ben to go and me to have a bath, I stripped off and ran around the house naked. Ben chased me and smacked my bottom, for that is what you do when faced with a naked giggling man.