Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Talking dirty in Hawaiian

abandon the garbage cigarette buttocks funny signHula Naaka Waaka Waawaa Nuka Heenee
 Siskum Baakaas Poka-Tiki Waheenie
Wacka Wacka Licka - Oaka Doaka Waikiki

This is another language I'm fluent in. As a polyglot and cunning linguist, I can draw on a variety of cultural oral traditions both extant and extinct, and babble incomprehensibly deep into the night. Last night in the small hours I suddenly shouted "What are you doing, I told you not to tell her" which hints at darker machinations in my hive mind.
hanging off a basketball hoopA fuller day at school in which I:
1.  Learned about Venn diagrams. Ben started this at least a week ago and I have been worried that I was falling behind, a classic case of Venn envy. But I'm better nowooo..
2. Banged my willy on a bench at playtime. Ever since I was hit in the willy by a football a couple of weeks ago I have been super-sensitive about my Gentleman's area and am considering wearing a cricket box or reinforced trousers.
3.  Got in the Golden Book again for my oustanding ability to solve mathematical problems. This was because I counted to 200 in 5s. Or was it 3s? 4s? 10s? Well anyway, I can count.
4.  I brought home a Magnum Opus in coloured pencil depicting Mr Burns using a bejewelled sword to kill a green policeman. This was a policeman wearing green, not an eco-cop. So that's ok, then.....

blonde teacher training in football lessonThis afternoon was my surprise. They seemed to want to get me out of the house so I demanded to go to Tunnel Park in the car. This sat very well with the plans they hadn't told me about so we did exactly that. The football people were there so we asked if we could borrow a ball and have a kickabout as they knew me and we're trustworthy etc. While we were doing that, Ginger Lenny, Harry, Ben and Bobert arrived and joined in! Sadly Johnny was in a strop so couldn't play but the rest of the gang got right back in it.golf putting and target practice
The format is slightly different: 4 modules and we swap between them. First we did running about: hop over the little hurdles, round the cones, do starjumps etc. The nice blonde girlie teaching us was quite short and reachable so Ben kept warming his ears on her by hugging her frontally. His mum told him off. Then we did keepy-uppy with feet and knees. Then cricket and catching practice. And finally golf with driving and target practice! The teacher holding up the target was very supportive until Ben hit the ball right into his trousers and he went ow ow ow a lot: that's when we learned that it was called "getting hit in the nuts" and we told everyone about it lots. It was all ace. Apparently there's 9 weeks left of this, can't wait...

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