Saturday, 5 March 2016

My Car is on Drugs

I've been looking forward to Saturday for ages. Not only is it acting, but I get unlimited screen-time past 3pm so I can battle as many dragons, build as many tunnels and upgrade as many town halls as I like.
So I started with Mintcraft which has taken a back seat recently with the Dragon game in its ascendancy. So I deleted some excess Mingcraft worlds and wandered through cyberspace bricking it.
child slave labour victorian chimney sweepThe trouble started on the way to acting. Whenever he pressed the brake, the full beam headlights came on. Then the dashboard said "Steering assist failure" and when we turned the car off, the engine didn't stop. Then it did stop, but the lights stayed on. Normally this type of shenanigans goes away once you've turned the car off for a while, so I acted (where I finally gave Primary Squeeze Sydney a Valentine's card) and he walked and we met up 2 hours later to discover that the headlights were still up to their old tricks, flashing all and sundry as we stop-started all the way home. For a while they all stayed on regardless of brake pedal position. Maybe it's because we changed a lightbulb yesterday, and it's fighting back. Jof said it would be easier to buy a new car.
But before I could Minxcraft ad nauseam, I had tasks. We trimmed the bamboo which keeps falling over in the wind. Then we got the ladder out and I climbed onto the garage roof and found a deceased firework: then moving onto the roof of the new bathroom extension I scrubbed the Velux windows free of their covering of bird poo, algae and lichen. I have much experience of treading the tiles and slates of this world from my previous position as singing and dancing chimney sweep, so this was old hat as I waved to the passing cars, brightening their day, and grooved briefly as they stopped to look and stare.
That freed me up for Minicraft and chocolate rabbits, not before time. Gosh, I love my life. So, I was just going to bed at about 2315 when I saw Bud reading this, my own blog, from about 3 years ago. Viewers the world over reach it through Google searches such as 'Boys playing with willies' and 'boy standing on swing' and 'boys penis sticking out at the pools' and if you carefully ignore the sad people searches and randomly land on 'boy standing on swing' (August 2013), you can drop into a past period in my life. Turns out, wherever you land, I'm the boss, I'm having a good time and my life is better than yours, even if I'm a bit shorter than you. I have made it a personal ambition to read through the account of my own life.

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