Scooter Evolution

We were all good little boys and girls and all got up simultaneously at 10am. I'd got to sleep at one minute to midnight so I qualified for a visit from a rotund genial mince pie thief going Hohoho but in the end I know it was Jof.

The stocking yielded a pack of Quality Footpath (the fun-size of Quality Street) and 3 more packs of Pokémon and a green Minecraft Creeper. The Pokémon packs enabled me to evolve some of my existing pocket monsters but when talking about evolution, I call it Evulsion, to rhyme with that kind of paint.

By noon we'd finished toast, bagels or showers, whatever's your poison, and I opened the present opening with a short official Presidential Address from my Creeper standing behind the Quality Footpath, like that nice Obama chap does when he's announcing another mass school shooting.

I got a Nerf Gun and another X-box controller and 2 racing-type games (not GTA etc) so I can play against Jof and oodles of chocolate and I declared it to be 'good enough, I suppose' and 'Better than nothing' because I didn't get the giant Nerf Sniper Rifle like Johnny did. But they got a drumkit too which should be interesting in their street.

2 years ago it was Scooters'n'Scratchcards and Bud did not disappoint so we scratched away with our free 10ps for ages and some of those cards are very complicated and Jof won £7 and I won £42 and she said £40 of it can go into your savings but I knew full well that all of it would go on Pokémon cards, can't believe she didn't realise that.

I'd completely forgotten to open the largest box which turned out to be my new, evolved scooter. It took ages to put together but eventually we hit the park and we all had a go and it's quite hard work and a massive contraption with brakes and big wheels, look at how much bigger it is than my old one, even the blue one is an adult scooter, can't wait to pose in cool fashion at school and show it off. It made a big old mess of the hall carpet and we have to take it through the back gate from now on. Jof served up Xmas dinner at 4 and we all had to spend hours on the sofa with internal rupture and DVDs. Happy Xmas to all!

During enormous supper (the only meal of the day) I said that my favourite part was being together as a family. Crude, naff, but true. We then proceeded to spend the rest of the day in different rooms, Minecrafting, washing-up, and watching ABBA historical documents on TV (guess who). I had my traditional drunken help showering and it won't be long until I am the physical masculine master of this house, measuring day is but 4 days away. Happy Tomorrow!