In school we now have a new system of House Points. The previous one may have been open to abuse or inaccuracies in that the teacher may promise you one but forget to add it, or may tell you that you can have one but not check to see you haven't added 4, some teachers may be more generous than others and sometimes one just has a bad day and won't hand any out even though under normal circumstances you would have won a Nobel Prize.
So now we have little plastic tokens and you put them in the Perspex bucket thing that corresponds to your house, and they count them up at the end of term, like the token-voting system in Waitrose. I was one of the first to get a normal token and I added it to my house bucket and there are orange tokens that are worth more and somebody has clearly added a vaguely similar tiddlywink to one house-bucket which won't count. A little bird told me that this particular house are total cheats because they used the thumb-on-the-egg trick in the Egg and Spoon race.
But then the JBs phoned and said come round to ours rather than sink in the mud of the park. This was a great idea so I showed them the Zeppelin-shaped item we made in a clay mould using lead melted on our own stove, and they got the joke, because their taste in music is a little more advanced than mine.
At theirs, Ben joined us and we got the chess board and the guitar out but only because we want to make hilarious Youtube videos of domestic bliss and Minecraft.
Ben has already got 5 subscribers on his channel and so immediately I wanted, nay, needed to set up my own channel and begin broadcasting to a grateful cosmos.
I want to be like Momo78 and Hieronimus_Ghosh and CѦTO☻CѦTO and all the rest with their half a million subscribers and guest spots on the Guffington Boast.
But for now I might just have to settle for being 9.
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