Thursday, 5 November 2015

Talents of Gold

firework rocket malfunction funny failWoke up this morning to rain and murk and damp and drizzle and last night's exploded rockets and their sticks in our back yard, which is only 16 foot on either side but still managed to attract more than its fair share of depleted uranium ordnance. I look forward to buying a house with a garden again so we can bombard the neighbours like we used to. If we lit the fuse and tried to retreat 5 metres for safety, we'd end up in the pub, not a bad idea.
In school Child A went round our class asking what's the capital city of Thailand and whenever anybody didn't know, said bang-cock and whapped them in the willy. I notice he didn't do it to the girls, must be one of those boys-only jokes.
In fact, I remember back in 1979, Mr Pike the Latin teacher always started every school year by asking who was the wife of the Roman god Jupiter and then going round the class one by one saying Juno? Juno? Juno? and everyone would say No Sir, I don't know because it sounded like he was saying D'you know? but it was just his little joke. This is the quality of jokes to expect when you're 9. I'm sure they'll get a lot better when I'm 10.
canoe lake southsea terrible weatherLast week when we came back from normal swimming the lights around Canoe Lake looked magical so after Talent-swimming tonight we nipped along the deserted seafront and tried to get a picture.
The rain was horizontal and went right down my earhole which you just don't need after swimming for an hour.
A dozen or more of Her Majesty's swans were huddling sadly in the corner by the green statue so we tried to record the scene but the camera didn't like it and neither did we.

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