A Ship too Far

You know every now and then, an opportunity comes up and you either have the money or you don't, and you either have the chutzpah to take it or you don't? Like the decommissioning of all the old red phone boxes in the 1990s, when you could practically take away these listed buildings for free if you had a truck, and within years they were a priceless novelty bought by individuals and hotel foyers alike?
Have a look at the Peaker Pattinson online auction and their QinetiQ sale. 17 craftsman-built 1/50th scale unique copper display models of British warships and assorted naval vessels are being sold off by the defence contractor. Type 42 destroyers, aircraft carriers, frigates and the Royal Yacht Britannia could be yours! These items are quite big, though, 60 kg or so and ten foot long.
I was going to buy one or 2 and lend them to Elizabeths' Mum at her ship museum and get my name in the papers again - plucky pipsqueak saves imperial jewel for grateful nation - but overnight the bid prices have gone up from £60 to £870 so I don't think I'll bother. But if YOU are a ship-mad collector, Manchester United football team, Qatari billionaire or Naval museum then maybe you could try and secure HMS Illustrious, Campbeltown, Invincible or Birmingham.
Today at school Jof asked me to "drop off a bag of sugar" to her contact in the staff room, I can see a glittering future for me as a drugs mule. This sackful of sugar sachets has been languishing in a cupboard at her work for some time, maybe even from before the time when EU rules on arsenic contamination were tightened.
Then I split yet another pair of trousers, in the exposed peanuts area, and I was sitting down at the time, honest. I had to go home in my PE shorts.
Todays' job was to collect some cacti from Dear Followers Martin and Zoe. They have been looking after them for ages and their new house won't have space so we secured them to the back seat of the car with 2 seatbelts and only got prickled several times. They really are frighteningly spiny.