The Immaculate Contraption

So when am I going to start guitar lessons then? It's all very well knowing I will be a world rock star, but I ought to have at least 1 lesson first.
Poppy and her friend got Ben and his friend into Dentition or was it Detention today, they were told on for "chasing girls" to Miss North who is the Detention (not dancing) Queen. I managed to escape, and Ben shouted at me for not springing him from the slammer. I was fresh out of jemmies, helicopters and cojones.
On the way to the bus stop (120 yards at best), Jof got caught in such a monsoon she had to buy new trousers and socks and get a shirt out of lost property before she could start work with a squelch.
One of the downstairs lightbulbs died this morning, tripping the RCD. He switched the ring main off by accident while he was supposed to be putting the lights back on.
The microwave tweeted a jolly greeting. The doorbell went off. The computer told me off for not shutting down windows properly. The answerphone clicked and whistled like a dolphin reunion. The DVD player reset to midnight. I expect we'll find the oven thinks it's September and the extractor fan will blow the wrong way.
Our topic this term is France. I have already learned vital statistics such as the Capital city, and to assist the class I sourced a map of said country from Stellar Cartography (pile of maps in the office). Here I am with the map (only a couple of decades out of date) and to add realism I have recreated the national flag.