Tuesday, 21 January 2014

My 15 Seconds of Fame

little prick funny engrish fail product nameThe air was heavy this morning with freezing fog and the sound of car windows being scraped.
The Fox, the Chicken and the Bag of Corn
Parent arrives home from work.
Parent dumps work bag and puts guitar and scooter in the car.
Parent drives to school and parks as near as possible, going round one-way system at least 3 times.
Parent leaves guitar but takes scooter, scoots remaining distance to school.
Obtain child. Child scoots home, parent runs behind. Ignore car.
Child changes into gymnastics shirt and Scout jumper. Retrieve jumper from where Mother tidied it.
Perform TV interview for BBC. Place empty plastic bottles and dead newspapers in recycling bin 5 times until lighting technician satisfied.
Child changes to normal jumper: scoot/run back to car.
bbc local tv reporter laura trant puts microphone on childTake guitar from, and place scooter in car. Walk remaining distance to school.
Child has guitar lesson, parent buys paper to see if child is in it (I wasn't), then loiters suspiciously by school gates.
Walk to car, insert guitar, ignore scooter. Drive home.
Have early supper. Both change into gymnastics/running gear. Gather sugar-rich food rewards and large juice.
Drive to gymnastics centre, child performs gruelling calisthenics routine while parent runs 6 miles up Portsdown Hill.
Get home, wonder what fuss is all about.
bbc local tv south today doing interview in kitchenWhen we got home from school, the BBC camera crew and council officials were further down our street pretending to inspect bins and deliver flyers. They were glad to get inside because it was still cold and we chose the kitchen to do the interview.
Jof surprised us by turning up just as we were setting up, she fussed and knocked things over and gave me a good luck hug. She was allowed off work early to see my moment of fame.
Bud tried to say a few things but mostly they talked to me, although I was a bit lispy due to missing teeth. We were both wired for sound like mafia snitches and the BBC lady (Laura Trant) kept giving me the thumbs-up from behind the camera. They were very interested in my Global Awareness Scout badge because it has a recycling component and they did a special close-up.
beaver scout does tv interview Afterwards I showed the reporter and the council ladies my Lego Castle, so there were 3 girlies in my bedroom going oo-er isn't it big. They were all jealous and the BBC girl told Jof she loved me. But then due to the packed schedule of a superstar, we had to run off to my guitar lesson and we were only 4 minutes late!
I got only 25 minutes to hoover up some food before Gymnastics but all's well that ends well because I won Badge #4!
After supper Jof left us to get weighed and we watched the news article. It was very short. They got so much material but ended up using possibly the most inane bit, hey, never mind, I was on TV, not a bad day.

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