Monday, 30 December 2013

Unhappy Hot Tubs

Up while Jof was still in the house as it was a day of action.
health and safety fail no under 18sThe first job was getting laundry in the rain, so no action there. But the Municipal Dump and Recycling Facility was great. As one of only 3 cars there, we battled the force 9 gales and monsoons to dump all the things that were in the way (dead printer, large metal patio heater Jof found in the passageway, leftover lead still in its original saucepan) and we negotiated the hilarious spaghetti junction to join the motorway, also experiencing a most unpleasant monsoon-gale combo.
Grandad was pleased to see us and it brightened up. He let us in the swimming pool and we swum and threw the flotation-aids-for-old-people at each other and generally messed about for an hour!
star wars lego chima toys'r'us southamptonI am not allowed in the hot tub because I am under 18 (what kind of a risible rule is that?) and after lunch I demonstrated the new scooter to everyone's delight apart from some old crones no doubt who will complain about underage people having fun in their presence. Before we left he gave me a pair of socks shaped like a blue cup-cake (and conned me into trying to bite them, they are called "Boys sock cake" by giftedhampers), 2 pinecones for the fire and a 1976 calendar mug, for he is kind like that.
Not far from him is the Toys'R'us of Southampton. We fought the road system and found it was smaller than the Pompey store and didn't have the Lego Millennium Falcon. We drove to Pompey and they didn't have it either. Jof had to buy it online and I used up my £125 birthday/Xmas money on the Falcon, Star Wars Clone Trooper Sergeant and Ninjago Final Battle. ErinsDad is right, I ought to get some kind of lifetime achievement award from Lego for my collection, at least until it reaches critical mass, warps Lego-space and creates a Lego Black Hole.
iron-flat image creator on coloured plastic product funny failAmongst the quality Puddle-Activities that Jof has lined up for us MiniBosses, 2 stand out. The Hama Midi Mosaic Maker enables the less artistic child (5+) to create a grid-based image using countless coloured easily swallowed plastic cylinders and then ask an adult to iron them flat for a permanent record of your own inadequacy in classic 8-bit graphics!
toy plastic moving staircase coin shoving machine funny product failBut the product of which I am particularly enamoured is the "World Of G@dgets Funfair Coin Cascade" (made in China), a faithful replica in pre-deteriorated plastic of the coin-shoving moving staircases at Clarence Pier.
I have wasted innumerable 2ps in those on the seafront and now I can get my own back. The truly disastrous machine (4 large batteries) grinds and flashes away like an old-time animatronic lunchtime stripper. You can use real coins (1p and 5p only, or machine may jam) for real cash prizes! It has a musical setting (best avoided) and a tilt alarm which is permanently on ("Place unit on a flat surface" - using up to 3 beermats to actually achieve flatness).
After the first 3 minutes of horrified disbelief, it's only sufficiently entertaining enough for a stunned mouse, and I know this because we caught one of the little blighters playing it this morning.

1 comment:

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