Coffin and Splutterin

My school offers a course in Karate but I can't do it because it would clash with the timings and costs of my existing extra-curricular activities. So I am doing my own course with belts and training programme. I have invented chops and blocks which all come with a vengeful exploding noise (marcatissimo). There are at least 3 kicks, the Front Kick, Jumping Kick and Spinning Kick which all come with 'Waii-Chooo!' noise (fortissimo). I know more 'moves' than the real karate teacher and I only fall down about 3 of every 10 kicks now, I'm getting really good.
After school we bought bath sponges, for we really know how to have a good time. When I spilt the drink over the carpet, I was inventively sent to my room to read.
Without this, my Reading Record might be empty.
At gymnastics I met TJ who is another King in the jesus play and someone from my old school so I made a big song and dance about moving to the other slot to be with them, then returning an hour later to do trampolining. Why does he not leap at my transient demands?
I have been looking at the website of the undertakers who will be dealing with Grandma for us.
Amongst their wide range of tomb-related products and services are coffins, always a useful part of any funeral.
They offer the usual pine, oak or hardwood veneer with lead lining for those who have got too close to the Russian secret service.
They also offer a laudable green selection of recycled and recyclable grave goods including ones hand-woven from water hyacinth (collected from clogged irrigation channels), banana leaf (post-harvest mandatory pruning), Panda-friendly bamboo, locally sourced sustainable Willow and plain cardboard for the body on a budget, for those whose wallets are stiff. All are biodegradable and leave only a fine ash and fond memories in any good crematorium.
For the more adventurous and discerning deceased, you can choose caskets with the American-style opening flap with integral picture of the Last Supper for the erudite ex-human, or how about pushing the daisies back in a nice floral final resting place, or one with trains or Spitfires on the outside for a more exciting last journey?
This large cardboard box (see "Cardboard, Joy of Box" link on the right hand side) is to keep all our Xmas decorations in, because it's big enough for those giant rolls of wrapping paper. But I can't help wondering if we could recycle and save money at the same time.