Friday, 7 April 2017

Lions on Acid - in the War!

women driver rubbish incompetent failSchool. In the past, it has been funny, different, something to look forward to, something to hide from. Now it's just getting boring, with endless revision and tests, and every day is an ersatz samizdat of the previous.
Today they even had a 'Wartime Quiz' which was exactly the same as all the other maths tests except the winners got 2 small easter eggs. The non-winners got 1 easter egg: my team was one of those.
wet sponge throw splat school feteAnd incredibly, a mere 40 days after the event, we had an assembly prize-giving session for the Lego League, in which I was a founder member of the school team. Team members were called up to the stage one by one to rapturous applause to receive their certificates of joining-in, sadly the printer had a paper jam when it came to doing mine so I was not called. OK, I've got the official group pose-a-thon photo and the Regional Winners' Medal but any further adulation should be lapped up.
school kids gurning dab The teacher noticed my absence from the Roster of Victory, and I was given my own personal round of applause, as it should be.
Later it was the Official School Spring Fair. We have been working towards this for months, as part of a living history topic. On a Wartime and Child Evacuation theme, my group was tasked with bringing rationing to life, something quite alien to our privileged existence, one ounce of butter per month my buttocks. I mean, who wants butter when you can have Quality Street Chocolate Assortment? So we had a guess-the-weight-of-the-cake stall and a lucky dip and 17 other stalls had their thing, ranging from Splat the Teacher and Paper Plane Competition to Land Girls selling Gingerbread Men and shove Ha'Penny to Battle of Britain via Air Raids and Spot the Railway Station. The weather chipped in with some very creditable sunshine.
dilated pupils acid magic mushroomsOwen and Gene were stalwarts of the Splat the Teacher stall: they offered their faces for splatting and I duly obliged. As I am Captain Coconut when it comes to village fairs, I had my 5 shots and gave them a full facial 3 times.
One stall had a Lion Raffle, although the creepy cats had a rather unsettling stare. I know you have to live off the land when normal supply routes are cut off by enemy U-boat action, but don't eat the wrong mushrooms, guys.
I also spent the remainder of my money on the other stalls and came back with a healthy (or unhealthy) selection of sweetie-booty. I then had to carry my child evacuee suitcase home on my back (still in Cockney kid costume) which is why I left my T-shirt at school, but who's counting. Now for a relaxing holiday ..... not.

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