Can't! Won't! Shan't!

Nowadays school life is just blurring into an endless series of identikit days you can't tell apart. Fortunately this won't go on forever, I know my life as a grown-up shan't be this dull. Every day we do maths revision, revise some English, and, if we're truly madly exceptionally lucky, we get to do some work on our Evacuee projects.

Now, over the period, my current owners have tried their best to help jolly up my school projects and activities: during the 2013 Nativity play I was 'Gold' King Melchior wearing actual gold chains, I have a wartime suitcase for my Evacuee project, and my own chimney-sweep brush for the Victorian Festival of Christmas. Some things cost money, some cost effort. This time I have 2 cardboard boxes that will make a very natty table at a price of £zero. But Child A in our group bought Ration book replicas and sweeties for prizes and we were just cruel to her. No fair.

And I took Ben home to prepare for Park Monday and that's when we saw the graffiti. Now, strike a light Guv'nor, we're men of the world, been there done that, know what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, squire. But you don't need it drawn on your new back gate in permanent pen by some brat with big ideas from the local school.

So I took a picture of it and sent it to Jof, and Ben had the bright idea of covering it up with paper and he did a sad face to protect the smaller brats from the local school and then we did the park anyway, having used Microsoft Paint to clean up this image.

At one point Robert's birthday ball ended up on the roof so we repaired to mine for feel-better crisps and then Bud got home and we tried to clean the gate with white spirit and sugar soap and lighter fluid and in the end we just painted over it.

Robert reckoned that what they'd meant to write was "Fat, can't run" but that's just because he's young and innocent, and I just let him think that.

Then we took the ladder to the park (not for the first time) because doesn't everybody, and we got the birthday football back and a bonus tennis ball and then it drizzled so we all went home anyway, having done 90 minutes of sterling park work not including the bit where we used industrial solvents, sniff.

In Scouts I got my Level 4 Swimmer Badge and a section badge and we made Simnel Cakes for Mother's day. One of Flynn's marzipan nobs fell off and I edged my cake with lemon drizzle.